Always Changing


I recently turned 18 but I don’t exactly feel any different. However, I can’t say the same for the things around me. Things have been changing lately. And I would like to think that they are changing for the better. 

Before I start, I just want to thank the friends that put in time, energy and money into celebrating my birthday. All I wanted was a simple dinner and I got that along with a couple of surprises here and there. So, it’s definitely been great.

Next, let me talk about the things around me changing. This might be the first time in a long time that a ‘change’ is turning out to be a good thing. And this is probably because it’s going back to the way it used to be. Not all the way there yet but baby steps, right? I’m not going to get my hopes up though because that has always proven to turn out bad. I know that just like how things are changing for the better that they could just as quickly do the opposite. With that being said, there are also some ‘not-so-good’ changes. It feels like I’m growing distant from someone I once felt a lot closer to. But hey, I swear I’m not complaining or trying to be sappy. It’s all still good. I have just noticed some changes which helped me prove my point… To myself. 

In a completely different topic, there has been a little something brewing with me. And the big question is, “Does it all mean anything at all?” Being me, I have been asking around for opinions only to end up strengthening my inner conflict. I’m telling myself not to make much of it because a couple of months from now, I’m probably going to look back and feel like a complete fool. That’s also why I don’t want to write too much about that as the people around me already know what I am talking about and that’s enough for me. I’m just mentioning it in this post anyway because it always helps to get what I’m feeling out there in words (even if it is cryptic). However, just to sum things up, let me just say that I’ve made an effort and in fact maybe too much of an effort. The ball (if there is even one to begin with), is no longer in my court. What am I referring to? You can continue guessing.

Actually, thinking about it, it isn’t exactly a completely different topic from what was in the previous paragraph. Why? Because this is one of the first few times this inner conflict feels real and that’s definitely a change from the usual superficial ones. 

So much has changed over the past year. Who knows what is still to come? 



Not dead yet


I know it’s been forever since I last posted something. Every weekend, I think about blogging because the past couple of weeks have been pretty eventful. I don’t remember why but I’m sure if I wanted to blog about it, something must have happened right? But I ended up prioritising my TV shows and assignments which left me with little time to blog. Oh well, I’m here this week because it’s been an awfully awful week and I just want to put how I’m feeling into words. Yes, I still do have tons of TV shows to catch up on and assignments to do this weekend but I think it’s time I revived this blog and used it for what it was meant for. A platform for me to get it all out there. So, there you have it, this blog isn’t dead just yet.

You know how we have an off-day sometimes? Well, this week has been an off-week for me. It feels like every day that went by, the week just got worst and worst. I’ve cried more tears this week than I have the past couple of months. And it all boils down to stress.

We all know of the stress that comes from school assignments. But I think that this stress is more than just that? I’ve been doubting myself more than ever this past week. From my leadership skills to my capabilities in general. Add in feeling unappreciated and misunderstood and of course the cliché feeling of never being good enough and you get a total mess – me.

Even today, I felt really easily irritable. It’s like a dark cloud started following me around as soon as I step foot in school. Noticing certain things really pissed me off and so I just went straight into silent mode. I know some of my friends noticed and if they are reading this then I apologise if I dampened the mood in any way.

But I have been able to pick myself up with a couple of feel-good songs and then I motivated myself to get back to working on my assignments. I can’t really remember if I actually got to work but I definitely tried sorting things out. I also got ‘saved’ a couple of times by friends that just cheered me up without even trying or knowing that something was up. So, I guess I’m thankful for good music and good company.

I’m not depressed or anything. Just pretty much stressed out with everything that’s going on and I’m not complaining either. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

“Tough times don’t last, tough people do.” – Gregory Peck

I’ll just have to keep that in mind and move on. New day, same fight, different round.

(Ouch!) Did Those Slaps Hurt?


I’ve been meaning to blog for the longest time but two things have been stopping me. Firstly, I had and still have a lot of things to do. I hate to admit it, but procrastination is becoming a friend and I really want to kill that bitch. Secondly, every time I think about writing a blog post, I think about how I’m going to phrase everything I have to say and then… It just puts me off. There’s so much going on in my head. So, let me try to get it out there the best way I know how.

I would really love to blog a whole post about Japan. I initially had plans to describe everything I saw, all the places I visited and really go in-depth. But like I said I just don’t have the time so I’m gonna have to sum it all up in these couple of paragraphs.

Japan was awesome for many reasons. Of course there’s the obvious reason that it was a trip that I got to go on with my friends and we got to bond. Like all events, it also brought on an opportunity for me to make new friends and I sure as hell did. There were also quite a number of interesting events that occurred to the best of us. From oversleeping and causing panic to tearful phobias to the classic lost item feat. The lost item feat was something that happened to me on the last day as well, when I ‘lost’ my passport. I emptied my backpack but it wasn’t there. I walked out to check my luggage already thinking about how I’m going to find it when I had to squeeze my luggage shut. But luckily, Shafna ran out and said that she found my passport in my bag. Yes, I know what you’re thinking but I really did empty my bag. How could I have missed it right? I was just relieved that my passport had been found.

Anyway, there was this amazing home stay with the Sumiyoshi family. They went out of their way for me and my home stay partner, Colin. On the last night of the home stay, we played with fire crackers which reminded me of Deepavali. It was something my cousins and I would play with but now that everyone is older, it’s just not the same anymore. My point is that it reminded me of the good times. Funny how I had to go all the way to Japan to be reminded of those times. At least I got to recreate them and I’m really appreciative of everything the family has done for me and Colin. So, that’s a wrap on Japan. For pictures, you can check the Instagram side bar below.

Now, I should move on to the things that have been bothering me. As you can tell from the title of this post, I’ve been receiving many slaps to the face lately. Not literally. Well, maybe one literal one. I believe I’ve gotten over that one. It was from a good friend of mine and I’ll be fine as long as she doesn’t EVER do it again. But I never expected the metaphorical slaps to the face to be the ones that hurt the most. And on top of that, they are all from the same person.

I’ve come to realise that I suck at giving advice cause of my lack in experience and that I just “don’t know what to say”. “You’re there to listen, she’s there to advice,” is what I’ve been told. Isn’t it true, though? Which is why, I’m just going to listen and not say much from now on. That’s all I seem to be good for anyway. Other than for updates and information on assignments and homework, what else do I bring to table?

Hint: It starts with a ‘no’ and ends with ‘thing’.

All that… From one person and damn, it hurts. I’m not saying that everything mentioned above was what was said. Just the quoted parts and rest was my own inference. I guess that’s the problem that comes with wearing your heart on your sleeve. You get too attached to people that never wanted you attached to them in the first place. And being there for someone that doesn’t want you to be there for them is one of the most hurtful things you can experience, in my opinion.

I honestly feel better to have gotten everything out there. Here’s to hoping for a better tomorrow,


“And yes, I know…

“And yes, I know we all love each other but the fact is the glue that holds high school friendships together is high school. Being around each other everyday, seeing each other in the halls, whenever something is up we don’t have to do any work to talk to our friends about it; they’re right there. As soon as it takes effort, we get lazy and then we forget and then we just move on. I don’t want to fade away.”

- Tina Cohen Chang (Glee)

Last week, I saw lots of students graduating and it once again got me thinking about how much time I have left with my friends and classmates. I mean sure, they get on my nerves sometimes and I’m sure I piss them off too but at the end of the day, I would choose the people I currently spend my school days with over the people I used to.

Secondary school was hell. I didn’t really have a voice. I didn’t really have friends that I could hug just because I want to. I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. I honestly was a wallflower. Just sitting pretty and trying to stay out of things. And when I did get involved, things just didn’t go the right way. I don’t think most people liked me but my best friend from secondary school says that it was the other way around. He told me that I just hated everyone. Obviously, I would agree to disagree on that one because it doesn’t make sense. Why would I go around hating people if they didn’t give me a reason to, right? Anyway, that’s a different story and I don’t really want to get into details. The point is, I don’t miss secondary school at all. I still keep in contact with the handful of friends that matter to me. It’s not as easy as it used to be but whenever we meet it’s like no time passed at all.

But when you talk about where I am now, I really think I’m going to miss these people. I’m just worried that after we graduate we just all won’t keep in touch anymore. It’s premature worrying, I know. We’ve still got another one and a half to two years to go. As of right now, we are all pretty bonded but who knows what’s going to happen before and after we graduate.

It’s just one of those things where you can only hope for the best.

Walk of Shame Review


And… two months later, I’m back with another Movie Review

The premise for Walk of Shame seemed interesting and I was hoping it would be a movie where the main character learns more about herself through all her adversities but that didn’t exactly happen. Well, I hadn’t seen the trailer before watching the movie anyway so that’s probably why my expectations were a bit off. Regardless, I had fun watching the movie. So, let’s get to the review, shall we?

So here is my review with NO SPOILERS.

The Story: Meghan Miles(Elizabeth Banks) is a local news reporter and she is presented with the chance of becoming a national news reporter. However, when she finds out one night that she hasn’t been chosen for the job, her girlfriends decide to bring her out to a club to cheer her up. She gets drunk and has a one night stand with Gordon (James Marsden), the bartender from the club. The next day, she finds herself at Gordon’s apartment and tries to make an escape (thus why it’s called the walk of shame). However, she can’t find her purse and her car has been towed as well. Furthermore, when she uses Gordon’s phone to access her voicemail, she realised that the company has changed their mind and that they want to give her a shot at the job instead.

How is she supposed to make it to work in eight hours without her car, ID and any money at all? Well it’s going to involve her committing or getting involved in a lot of crimes and getting into more trouble as a result.

The Cast: Like always, I don’t have an issue with this area. I had to do some research to find out that Elizabeth Banks is actually the actress that plays Effie Trinket in The Hunger Games seriesAnd one of the main reasons why I didn’t bother watching the trailer is because I knew James Marsden was starring in it. If you don’t know who he is, he is Cyclops from the X-Men series. He was also in Enchanted. So, I guess the casting was all perfect. I can’t see anyone else playing any of the characters. That’s a good thing, right?

The Characters: Firstly, Meghan Miles is a news reporter/anchor/journalist and since it’s relevant to my course of study, it was relatable in a way. However like I mentioned above, she gets into a lot of trouble and it just makes her look extremely irresponsible. And also since she is shown getting into all this trouble, we don’t really get to see her at work.

Next, I felt that a couple of characters definitely required more screen time or at least more character development. I’m referring to her love interest Gordon and her two girlfriends, Rose and Denise. Gordon, simply because he’s played by James Marsden and so obviously I think he should have had a bigger role. As for the two besties, Rose is the bitchy one and I wish they would have shown that more while Denise is the ditzy one with funny lines. So, seeing that it’s a comedy, I think they should have used her more as well. The two cops annoyed me. I didn’t like their characters. Not sure if that’s a good thing because they are supposedly the ‘bad guys’ in Meghan’s situation.

As for the Crackhouse Trio, they NEED their own movie. I’m not going to say they deserved more screen time in this movie because they appeared a sufficient and reasonable amount for their part of the story. However, I would love to see a spin-off movie focusing on them and I don’t think it’s impossible. The characters are already pretty well established and if you watch the movie, you would know that a possible premise could come from a rivalry between two crack houses. Yes, it might be a trashy movie but it could work and I strongly believe that.

The End: You actually feel for Meghan at the end and although the message I think the writers were going for was stated, it wasn’t well shown. I wasn’t satisfied by the ending because I hate when movies make a huge mess and don’t show the repercussions.

My Rating: 6.5/10

The movie really gave me The Hangover vibe just that instead of a group of guys it’s a woman on her own. Although the friends I watched the movie with stated that it was draggy at times, I really didn’t feel that at all. The obstacles thrown in her way seemed fresh to me and they made sense; it wasn’t too forced. Would I recommend you watch it? Well, it was a funny movie and I guess I would say, yes after a lot of thinking.

That’s all I have to say,



“Building a friendship…

“Building a friendship, especially in a place like New York City takes work. Because it’s a place where you see a lot of people but you don’t really know them until you spend intimate times with them. And I think that’s what really happened with us.”

- Daisy Lewellyn (Blood, Sweat and Heels)

Here’s a quote to start the week. I know I haven’t been blogging much lately and it’s not cause nothing has been going on but rather too much has been going on that I don’t even have the time to write up a post. So, a quote will have to do.

I decided to post this quote because I think it’s relatable. Yes, I know we don’t all live in NYC but I’m referring to how we all see people around all the time but we don’t really know them until we actually spend time with them.

And… I’m also glad that the show I got this quote from, #BloodSweatHeels has been renewed from a second season. 

Remember That Thought… ?


It’s been two weeks since I lasted posted a Daily Life post. So, here we go.

It’s only the third week of the second school year but I already feel the stress taking a toll on me physically. It’s like I just can’t seem to get enough sleep. Even the shorter school days tire me out. And trust me, it’s not going to be too long before I start feeling the emotional stress too. Obviously, most of this stress is coming from school. If you were to represent the amount of free time I have each day on a graph, it would be a line that is constantly going down. That’s because all the assignments are piling up and I’ve also got other school-related commitments and responsibilities to take care of. Now, maybe I haven’t been making the most of my time. I’m not too sure. But I’m trying my best… By making to-do lists and mentally planning the day or week in my head.

Some examples of school-related commitments would be, debate club and astronomer’s because I wanted co-curricular activities to make my portfolio look better. I chose these two CCAs out of everything, only because I had friends in them to ease me in. I also felt a little peer pressure from them. I’m not too sure if I’ll be staying in both the CCAs. I think I will.

If you asked for a quick recap of the past two weeks, I had my first official interview during a in-class activity with a toddler, signed up for a couple of CCAs(as I mentioned above),  visited a grandparent that I haven’t been on the best terms with(it went well this time), attended a day-camp(and was thankful it rained so there were no high elements), have lunch with my family(after a really long time) and all the usual stuff like catch up on my favourite reality shows and sitcoms.

Now, everything beyond this point, is the inspiration for the title of this post. It’s pretty self-explanatory when you read it. It’s not a sob-story nor am I throwing myself a pity party. I just needed to reflect and get it out of my system. And what better way to than to thoughtfully construct a blog post.

Today, I got reminded of something that I used to believe strongly last year. It was just this theory that by the end of the three years at this school, I would only be left with two classmates that consider me a friend because the others would have had enough of me and left. Enough of my jokes, bosh and everything else. So, I strongly believed that and I also knew who those two people would be and I still do. I remember blogging about it too. However, this belief or thought had been absent for the past couple of months. Until today of course… It has officially resurfaced. And I blame myself, honestly. It was just a joke I played that turned into something serious and now here I am, overthinking. If the victim is reading this, I apologise once again. I guess I just feel guilty and so that’s why it’s bothering me.

So while I’m at it, why not also mention that I feel like the number of people I can go to when I have something good to share has been decreasing. I really don’t mean to diss anyone by saying so but that’s just what I think. Now, we all know that there are three kinds of people in your life. The people that you like to work with, the people that you love to hang out with and lastly the people that you can confide in. Some people are in more categories than one and some to their own joy, are in none at all. So, I guess by saying this, the category I’m referring to is the ‘confide’ category. Because sometimes when you’ve got some good news, you know that not everyone is going to be happy for you. But as far as I’m concerned, the people that I trust to be happy for me are the people that I can confide in. So, it’s a huge blow when that’s not the case or when there aren’t many people in that category to begin with.

Oh well, that’s actually all I have to say.

Until next time,