“I think life is just a big con.”

photo 3

“One day, Sabine just said to Hector, ‘I think life is just a big con.’

Startled, Hector asked, ‘What do you mean?’ (That was what he always said when he hadn’t been listening properly the first time.)

‘Well, you’re born, and straight away you have to rush about, go to school, and then work, have children, and then your parents die and then before you know it you get old and die too.'”

–    Hector Finds Time by François Lelord

It is important to me, for me to have time to do the things I love and enjoy even when I am ‘not supposed to’ have the time. These things include spending time with friends and family, getting my daily dose of reality TV and sitcoms, reading and sometimes even lying around doing nothing.

I understand that time is not one of the luxuries of life but it saddens me that we all have a whole bunch of things to do that we keep jumping from one thing to the next as the list keeps piling on and on. I guess, I have always been aware of how fast time is passing by but this book that I started reading recently, the past few months and the thought of the uncertain future have just given me a whole lot more to think about. That is why I decided that it is finally time to write a blog post to sort of help clear my mind.

It has been nine weeks since my internship at a production company started and after a slow start, the past few weeks have been passing by pretty quickly. I think week nine is the most comfortable I have felt at work – thanks to some friendly colleagues. But what I am trying to point out is that it took me nine weeks to adapt to this new environment and before I know it, there is going to be another change in environment and I am totally unprepared for the next change.

I have had my fair share of ups and downs the past nine weeks. There were times when I was extra anxious when tasked with something new or when I realised I had messed up. I was trying so hard not to make mistakes that I failed to realise that this is the time for me to make mistakes and learn from them. I would call that ‘revelation’ a turning point as I have been feeling less anxious ever since. (Keyword: less)

As uncomfortable as I feel at times, I give myself credit for going out of my comfort zone. I might complain and disagree with how certain things are done but I am learning from the experience. I mean, I do need to find something to write about in my logbook and surprisingly this requirement has been helping me filter out lessons that I have learnt each week.

“I am in the TV industry but I have no time to watch TV.”

The above quote was something a colleague said in a casual conversation. At first, I did not make much of it but soon enough, it got the wheels in my head turning. It made me wonder if this is really what I want to do. I know… I know… this is such a cliche thought at this point which is exactly why I am not too worried about ‘the future’. My plan is just to see how the rest of my internship goes, talk to people, get their opinion and do some research myself to help me figure things out. (If you’re reading this and you can relate, then let me just tell you that I am sure we will find our place and solve the puzzle eventually. No rush.)

Don’t get me wrong, I knew what I was signing up for when I picked ‘production’ for my internship – ‘long hours, no sleep and constant work’. I am aware that the way I work may not be ideal for me to be interning at a production company but I just believed and I still believe that there are more ways than one to get things done. However, being at the bottom of the hierarchy, I totally understand that I can’t have things my way. So, at the end of the day, if this is really what I want to do, I promise you that I will put in the work and slowly but surely climb up that damn ladder.

“My fear of heights won’t stop me from climbing the ladder of success.”

Until next time,


“Okay the only way I can describe it is…

“Okay the only way I can describe it is… It’s like I am walking through a forest… the whole time. And for the most part, it’s fine, it can be beautiful, peaceful even but you always know that at some point, you are going to come across these parts of the forest that we don’t recognise – dark corners that you didn’t know were there but well you always kinda knew they were coming. Does that make sense? And that’s when the world gets scary and that’s when you can lose your way. But because I’ve got great mates and people who make me strong and remind me that well even when I hit those dark parts of the forest that I’ve just gotta keep walking. Just keep walking and I’ll be okay… I’ll be scared… But I’ll be okay.”

– Rachel Earl (My Mad Fat Diary)

With literally just a week left before this school semester comes to end, I am having mixed feelings. This semester, just like any other semester, has had its ups and downs but what makes this semester different is that it would be the last semester spent in school. I guess I’m just anxious about what comes next. There is a lot of uncertainty. I knew that the time would come eventually but there has always been a buffer period which has been getting shorter and shorter, every time I think about this chapter ending.

I know change can be a good thing. It keeps things fresh and exciting. However, it has always been difficult for me to deal with and accept change even though I’ve experienced it plenty of times. But like Rachel Earl said, “I’ll be scared… But I’ll be okay.”

18 Ways To Detox Your Mind (Without Having To Go Completely Off The Grid)

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

@MagdalenaRikanovic @MagdalenaRikanovic

Though we have miles to go in terms of growing up learning what it means to take care of our bodies, we’re even farther behind on how to take care of our minds. Our brains construct our experiences, and there are so many factors that alter and shift our perspectives that our completely in our control, but totally out of our awareness. Here, a few things you can do to detox your mind, deprogram and wipe the slate clean now and again.
  1. Travel to assimilate to culture. Alter your base point concept of ‘normal.’ What it will show you is how many behaviors/values/beliefs you’ve unconsciously adopted from your surroundings (and ways you can change them).
  2. Create physical solutions for emotional problems. People default on the idea that one emotion will cancel out or fix another. If you’re upset, seek a high to eliminate it. But negative emotions are just…

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7 Childlike Traits We Should Recapture To Live A Happier Life

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

Stephanie McCabeStephanie McCabe

When we were children, we dreamed of growing up to be adults. When we reach adulthood, the stress of life can make us wish we were back to being a kid again. Although we cannot recapture our youth, we can try to cultivate the kind of traits that we had as children. Children are some of the happiest and fulfilled individuals you will ever meet, and I think adults can learn a great deal from the attitudes of these miniature human beings. Through age we may gain wisdom and discernment, but we can also lose our childlike passion for living. Here are some “childlike” characteristics that you should recapture to live a better life.

  1. Curiosity – Children are incredibly curious. They can ask 1,000 questions, and after those have been answered they will have 1,000 more to ask. Curiosity is a trait that is lacking in many of…

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Here’s What You Missed Pt. 2


Let me go straight into this post.

The evening before Day 1 in Ipoh, I was charging my phone with my laptop when iTunes told me there was some syncing error. I don’t even remember what I was trying to sync… If anything at all. It told me to format my phone and I was hesitant to do so. I tried restarting my phone but it still couldn’t sync so I was left with no choice when I decided to format it not realising that my last back up was a month ago. When my phone was done formatting, I lost one month worth of texts and photos. It felt like I time traveled a month back. I feel a little stupid for formatting it especially since I don’t think I was trying to sync anything in the first place. iTunes just popped up when I plugged in my phone and for some reason I decided to listen to it when it told me to format my phone. Sigh…

Anyway, let’s move on to Ipoh. I was nervous for the trip. I have mentioned in previous posts that I am not a fan of camps. But after the briefing I realised that this wasn’t really a camp. We were sleeping in hotels and we were going on the trip with people we already knew. It was more of a work trip. We just had to find someone interesting to film a short documentary about in two days and that was what I should be worrying about – not the living arrangements.

I had a good team. I was pretty confident we could get things done as long as we stayed focus. My main worry was that we might lose our patience with each other when things were going wrong. I also felt some pressure having to be the ‘team leader’ which is another way of saying that I was responsible for anything that went wrong. By the time we were all at the airport, my nerves were gone and I was more excited than anything.

Day 1 in Ipoh was tiring. My team split up into three groups and walked around talking to people, hoping to find someone interesting or someone that could lead us to someone interesting. I was with Jeremiah and we didn’t have much luck. However, the other two groups each found someone that could be a potential profile: a man that sells sugarcane juice and an elderly woman who owns a small snack shop. We also learned that there was a dangerous area near where the sugarcane man lived that we should avoid. We ended our day leaning towards choosing the sugarcane man as our profile but we wanted to find out more about both profiles.

This is one of my favourite pictures. I'm getting good at this selfie thing, eh?

This is one of my favourite pictures. I’m getting good at this selfie thing, eh?

This is us waiting for lunch.

This is us waiting for lunch.

Day 2 was a little demoralising. We were supposed to start filming but there was still a lot that was unconfirmed and a lot of information we had not received yet. We split up into two and then three. And we learnt that both our potential profiles were living at the same row of blocks. So, we thought maybe we could focus on the location instead of their individual stories. We spent the rest of the day after lunch, filming both potential profiles and trying to dig up as much information as possible. By the time my half of the group returned to the hotel, I was pretty down. I felt we hadn’t made much progress and I felt pressure to make things work especially as the ‘team leader’. However, while using my phone, I found a quote that I took down from Lauren Conrad’s Infamous and it made me feel a little better.

“Do not feel pressure. Pressure is for when you have to do something you aren’t prepared to do. But you are prepared for this. Now let’s kick some butt, all right?”

– Todd Barrows (Infamous, Fame Game Series)

As I returned to my group for dinner, I felt more positive and I knew we had to find a way to make it work. Our shoot script was due tomorrow morning which meant we needed to figure out what exactly our story was and what we were going to film. We decided on going ahead with the snack shop lady as our profile but we were struggling to come up with sequences to film. We were up ’til 12 trying to get out shoot script done and so were the other groups. I was feeling sleepy as we reached the end of our script but I was happy with the end product. Once we checked everything, I left and I believe only Vera and Siti were double checking the script and thinking of some extra shots we could film the next day. Things seemed to be looking up, huh?

I think this was taken on Night 2.

I think this was taken on Night 2.

Day 3 in Ipoh was pretty fun. I forgot to mention that the snack shop lady lives right next to the dangerous area we were told to avoid on Day 1. And we needed to film her at home. So, Ms Mary helped us rent a car and driver to drive us down there and it was pretty thrilling. I stayed in the car for the most part because I wouldn’t have anything to do if I was standing around outside anyway. The rest of the day was filled with us filming everything we needed and by the end of it, we were pretty satisfied with how everything worked out. There was a sort of a bonding activity on Night 3 for everyone regardless of group and class. I was expecting to cry based on stories I’ve heard but it turned out to be more funny than emotional.

Rushing to get the shot.

Rushing to get the shot.

Filming interviews on Day 3.

Filming interviews on Day 3.

Here's a picture that we took with our profile.

Here’s a picture that we took with our profile.

Day 4 was the last day and that alone made it a good day because I couldn’t wait to get home. It was very chill. We performed a skit for some primary school students, toured a resort and had a great lunch there. And soon we were off to the airport, on the plane and back in Singapore. I really appreciate all the effort that the lecturers put into organising the trip and taking care of us. We have the best lecturers at DTVM, I swear. However, I was and I still am very glad that this trip is over. Now, my team and I just have to put the pieces together in the editing room and hope that the end product is everything we wanted it to be. It’s not going to be easy but we’ll get there.

Messy table but good food and company.

Messy table but good food and company.

Love this picture and love these people.

Love this picture and love these people.

The A-Team on Day 4.

The A-Team on Day 4. I’m really proud of us.

I spent the weekend back from Ipoh catching up on my shows and also writing memory bag letters for my friends. The memory bag was introduced on Night 3 in Ipoh. It’s basically a bag that you receive right before internship. When you’re feeling low, you open the bag and read the letters to make you feel better. So, I used the letters to remind people of how great they really are while at the same time giving a little piece of advice. Hopefully, my letters will put a smile on their face when read. And I hope I received some good letters too.

A picture from my letter writing workshop.

A picture from my letter writing workshop.

Now, let’s see what else I have been up to. Last Wednesday, I spent with a few people from Rojakrew. I wish everyone could make it but we still had fun so I guess that’s good enough. It was a pretty fun day because we bowled, we played pool, we played Kinect and we walked around Toys ‘R’ Us. Fulfilling for me at least. Last Friday, I watched Jurassic World with the girls. It had a easy storyline to follow so I appreciated that cause I didn’t have to think much and I didn’t want to either. I got a haircut and re-highlighted my hair. I love how it looks now. Yay me! I just realised I haven’t taken a selfie since. Yesterday, Chels and I went to HMV where XZ is working. I have always loved HMV. The environment where you are surrounded by thousands of albums and movies is just perfect. And to make things even more perfect, I was haunted by MIKA’s latest album, in a good way. I saw his album at four different locations in the same store. And about 15 minutes after we walked in, the entire album started playing too. So, I decided to stay ’til the album ended. I found a couple of seemingly interesting movies to check out in the meantime.

Inspired by SEA Games athletes, Jamie came in wanting to win but she didn't.

Inspired by SEA Games athletes, Jamie came in wanting to win but she didn’t.

Jamie did pretty well riding the boat though. She's a natural.

Jamie did pretty well riding the boat though. She’s a natural.

Watched Jurassic World with these people.

Watched Jurassic World with these people.

Shaf left early but I still wanted a selfie at the spot with great lighting.

Shaf left early but I still wanted a selfie at the spot with great lighting.

After one week of my holidays was spent in Ipoh, I had two weeks left. And now it’s already the Friday before school reopens and I’m left with just the weekend. I was hoping to spend the bulk of my holidays at home, watching shows and chilling but obviously that’s now how it turned out. There were group meetings every other day and a lot of time was spent on assignments and not at home. I’ve honestly come to appreciate my stay-home days. It’s a little tough accepting the fact that I don’t get as many off-days anymore but I do know that it’s only going to get tougher over the next eight weeks. However, we’ve already completed five assignments in the first term and we’re left with just another ten. Fingers crossed that I don’t go crazy over the next eight weeks.


Here’s What You Missed Pt. 1

These pictures didn't turn out good but they look good against that background so...

I’m here ready to recap the past month based on what I remember and what has been documented on my Twitter account. I would usually look at my photo gallery on my phone but I formatted my phone a few weeks ago and lost about a month worth of pictures and texts. I’ll tell you more about that later but let me bring you back to the last day of the first school term, 29th May.

29th of May was the day Dolph Ziggler, a professional wrestler from WWE was coming down to Singapore for a meet and greet and also to promote the WWE Live show in Singapore (which is one week away, on the 2nd of July and I’ve got my ticket already, by the way). However, the catch was that only the first 100 Starhub customers and a couple of other early birds (if I’m not wrong) would be able to meet and greet Ziggler. The rest of the people at the event would just watch as Ziggler answered questions and spoke to the audience for a bit.

I had been anticipating that day for quite some time, in hopes of being able to meet a WWE wrestler and crossing that off my long list of childhood dreams. Things were looking up given how my class that day was supposed to end at 12pm and the meet and greet was at 7pm. That meant that I had enough time to get there and queue up to be the first 100. BUT on the 29th of May, instead of the usual 9am-12pm class, we had a special out-of-class activity from 2-5pm. It was an Amazing Race bonding activity and on the way to School of the Arts (SOTA), the meeting place for the race, Angela who I was supposed to attend the meet and greet with was already in queue and she informed me that there were about 50 people in front of her. Add to that the fact that my teammate printing the group assignment due that day, was facing trouble with printing, I was pretty down. The printing problem got resolved soon enough but I still remained pretty bitter and upset about the meet and greet.

I put on my game face for the bonding activity but since it was not about speed but rather creativity, it was not as exciting and thrilling as it could have been. However, by the end of the activity, my group felt more bonded and so I guess that’s what mattered. After we were dismissed, I considered skipping the meet and greet because it would feel like a slap to the face seeing the lucky people go up on stage and meet Ziggler while I just stood there watching. However, since I had nothing else to do then and Hus was going regardless, I decided to just go ahead with the original plan.

5/7 of the team.

5/7 of the team. Jes was sick and Bernice was walking ahead.

5/7 of the team... Again. This time, Bernice left early for debate.

5/7 of the team… Again. This time, Bernice left early for debate.

The meet and greet was fun. Ziggler showed up late which I thought was strange but it was fun watching fans imitate Ziggler’s entrance (an ‘entrance’ is how a wrestler walks to the ring) as part of a competition of who does it best. Rishi and Nadiah joined us soon enough and we laughed at the contestants together. When it was time to for the meet and greet, the four of us just stood there watching and waiting for Angela to walk on stage. I must say that it was pretty entertaining watching Ziggler interact with his fans. He sure must have felt tired of signing all those pictures and having to put on a smile for every fan he met. It made me respect WWE Superstars and Divas a lot more though. Ziggler’s bodyguard was also pretty cool. Whenever Ziggler hugged a fan, he would have a really tiny smile. I guess he had to keep the fierce look to tell people to get off stage when they were taking too long. When Angela joined us, I was honestly pretty happy for her. The two of us, along with Girwina are attending the LIVE show next week together. So, hopefully that will be fun and somehow, someway, my dream will be fulfilled then. Once it was confirmed that the meet and greet would not open for more people to join, Rishi and I left.

This is the only picture I have access to after formatting my phone. And I only have it because Angela tagged me in it on Facebook... Sigh.

This is the only picture I have access to after formatting my phone. And I only have it because Angela tagged me in it on Facebook… Sigh.

Here's a stolen picture of Dolph Ziggler at the event.

Here’s a stolen picture of Dolph Ziggler at the event. (Credit: The Urban Wire)

Here's another stolen picture, just so you know what he looks like.

Here’s another stolen picture, just so you know what he looks like. (Credit: The Straits Times)

I thought I was going home but Rishi was meeting Jasper and Shan Yi. I decided to tag along since they didn’t mind. They were going around looking for dresses as part of work. It was fun searching for a particular type of dress with them. We ended the day at Coffee Bean where we had fries and drinks. Later, Jasper returned to work while the rest of us travelled home.

On to the next topic, the MPH book fair that I attended with Jamie, Chels and Shaf at Expo on the 5th of June. I’ve always loved book fairs because it’s nice to be surrounded by books. Sure, it makes me feel guilty by reminding me of all the books I have in my shelve, unread but it is still pretty fun anyway. I usually attended these book fairs with my parents so it was refreshing attending this one with the girls. I suggested the idea to them and they were on board. We walked around laughing at book titles and I’m sure we all had some book in mind that we were hoping to find. I was hoping to find any one of the two Andy Cohen books, the final book in the DRAMA! series or even Perks of being a wallflower since I loved the book but never owned a copy of it. But in the end, I walked out with two graphic novels and the third and final book in Lauren Conrad’s Fame Game series. I was glad that the girls each got at least one book too so it wasn’t a wasted trip.

After the book fair, we had dinner at Texas Chicken at Changi City Point. It was my first time trying Texas Chicken and it was pretty good. We waited forever for Shaf to come back with her food that the rest of us were trying really hard not to start eating first. The conversations we had were a good mix of funny and thought-provoking. At some points, I looked around wondering if anyone was listening because we were talking about really strange things. After sitting there for about an hour, we all left for home. I can’t wait for the next meal that we have together.

Thanks for being great company. <3

Thanks for being great company.

A day later, on the 6th of June, I met with Rosydi and Azfar. It was a Saturday and I love spending my weekends at home but since there was no school the next day, I didn’t really mind. Plus, Azfar is in NS now so he only has his weekends free and we need to fit his schedule if we were meeting up. The plan was to watch a movie and have dinner together. So, we watched Spy – a really entertaining movie – and had dinner at Pastamania. It was a pretty good day.

Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 10.47.38 pm

A selfie at the usual spot at Somerset because of the perfect lighting.

Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 10.47.48 pm

Notice how Azfar is bald?

Whenever I meet up with the dudes, I remember not to worry about drifting apart from the people who are important to me post-graduation in Poly. They remind me that if people care enough about each other, they would make time for each other and find a way to remain in each other’s lives no matter how busy and difficult life gets.

I think this is a good place to end the first instalment in the “Here’s What You Missed” chronicles. I would continue writing but this post is already pretty long and I have a whole lot more to write about. I have to fill you in on the school trip to Ipoh and everything that has happened since I came back. I’ll save that for tomorrow. Stay tuned!


P.S: If you feel like there are lesser pictures in this post, you are right. If only I had not formatted my phone.

There’s A Lot Going On


It’s been slightly over a month since my last post. I have been meaning to write for quite some time now but I just never seemed to have the motivation nor energy to do so. I decided to take some time to write a post now before I procrastinate and it becomes June and I would have ended my ‘at least one post a month’ streak.

The past four weeks of school have been pretty draining. There is almost always something to do at any point of time. Things are also pretty unpredictable. One moment everything is fine and the next, things go wrong and vice versa. So, I am counting my blessings and reminding myself to take one step at a time. I would reflect on the past four weeks in further detail but not THAT much has happened to be honest. It’s mostly a lot to do with school. Looking at my photo gallery, there are like about four key events that I think I should highlight.

Firstly, FYP groupings. There was a whole lot of speculation as to who would end up where. It had been a conversation topic since last semester. I was pretty excited yet anxious at the same time – there was something about the unpredictability of the situation that made it very thrilling for me. But I am definitely glad that the paranoia of the selection process is over. Now, let’s just hope that the rest of the journey will be a smooth ride.

Secondly, it was the day of the DTVM Party and movie excursion. It was our last DTVM party and I remember Alicia reminding me of that when I didn’t want to join in the singing/lip syncing that was going on. I actually even hid at the back so no one could drag me in. I am not a fan of making a fool of myself against my will. Later, as part of a film excursion we watched The 100 Year-Old Man which I thought was a great movie. It was really funny but towards the end it felt a bit draggy that I was hoping it would just end already. Although it was a Friday and it would have been nice to hang around town, I just wanted to head home to get some rest because I knew I had work to do over the weekend.

Thank you to the person who took this picture and made me feel beautiful.

Thank you to the person who took this picture and made me feel beautiful.

I like how Ms Mary appeared out of nowhere.

I like how Ms Mary appeared out of nowhere.

Here's another group selfie with Nica and Jes in it too.

Here’s another group selfie with Nica and Jes in it too.

Why watch a movie at a cinema without popcorn, right?

Why watch a movie at a cinema without popcorn, right?

Thirdly, the seniors’ graduation. I had my mind set on heading home straight after class to work on the assignment that was due the next day in my own time but I was convinced by Chels and Shaf to stay on for the graduation. We didn’t actually get to enter the hall the graduation ceremony was taking place at. Instead we were watching a LIVE stream that was being shown at the auditorium. It felt like I was watching a documentary and I think I said it a couple of times but no one probably understood what I was saying. Even I can’t justify nor explain what I meant by that but I still stand by it. I guess it was pretty fun watching familiar faces walk on stage. Later, we waited around to take pictures with our seniors. At some points, we were just hanging around doing nothing. After I took almost all the pictures I wanted, I was ready to go. So when Shaf left, me and Chels decided to leave too. I don’t know what it was about taking pictures with the seniors or talking to them that made me feel no regrets for staying back longer. With that being said, I reached home later than expected and stayed up later than I wanted to, making final edits and finishing up the assignment that was due in 12 hours. (I took so many pictures that I am just posting the two selfies that I think look the best along with a picture that was taken with Kirt’s DSLR)

Lyn's been there since our first day of school. Woah.

Lyn’s been there since our first day of school and now she has graduated… Woah.

I only really got to know Ilene quite recently. She's hilarious.

I only really got to know Ilene quite recently. She’s hilarious.

I love this picture. We should all just carry a DSLR around.

I love this picture with Kirt. We should all just carry a DSLR around.

Lastly, one of the recent events that I should highlight is my FYP group’s unofficial group bonding day. We signed up for The Hidden Good‘s MP3 Experiment trailer filming. We just wanted to get a behind-the-scenes look at how they were going to film it. We had to visit 10 locations and do strange things in public as part of a flash mob. That day, I woke up 30 minutes late having underestimated the time it would take to get to Farrer Park MRT. I had to take a cab and that was a waste of money. The filming was also pretty tiring because of the heat and all I wanted to do was laze at home. However, my group helped keep me entertained. From Dalene taking pictures and laughing at stupid things to Chels’ weather report and Wesley’s riddles, I think we were occupied with things to do at different points. We also got really good photos of all of us from this day, thanks to Dalene. I would say spending a whole Sunday out wasn’t really my cup of tea but I had no regrets because I think we might have just benefitted from the day in more ways than one. Only time will tell.

I think I am getting at taking group selfies.

I think I am getting at taking group selfies.

Pretty proud of this picture I took. Felt pretty fascinated by the coke cans too.

Pretty proud of this picture I took. Felt pretty fascinated by the coke cans too.

From our second last stop of the day at East Coast Park.

A picture from our second last stop of the day at East Coast Park.

I can’t believe that the supposed three week break starts next Saturday. Time has really passed by really fast. I guess I am looking forward to the break but I am not exactly sure how I feel about the Ipoh trip that is coming up in the first week of that break. It should be fun and exciting but my worry wart tendencies are kicking in. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

Until next time,