The content in this post was actually supposed to be divided into three separate posts about three different weeks over the past three months.
Each week was about one of the ‘R’s in the title of this post.
But considering how I forgot about what exactly went down in ‘Reset Week’, I thought why not just give brief summaries and combine all three into one.
I had a whole week off after returning home from Australia. I used this week to get back into the swing of things.
This included simple things like catching up on all the TV shows that I put on hold while away because I watched them with my Mom. Mainly Big Brother US, Project Runway, Shahs of Sunset and Dance Moms.
Side note: Somehow I had not come across any spoilers about who won Big Brother US so I did not entirely dread watching the remainder of the season.
I also tried to make up for all the exercise I had planned to but not actually done in Australia – I only ran once during those 49 days. So I ‘reset’ my exercise routine and have been trying to run three times a week ever since. 10 weeks have passed successfully and I hope to keep this going – it makes me feel productive and healthy for the most part.
I caught up with friends and family too. I passed everyone the personalized souvenirs I got them and then gave them a brief summary of how the trip was.
Throughout the week, I felt anxious about returning to camp the following week. I was not sure how everyone was going to receive me after not seeing me for two months. And granted, the first week back was a little rocky for me.
I felt a disconnect and a little resentment or coldness. But at the same time, being away made me care less. I reminded myself to be less invested in what the people at work think, say and do. So it all worked out, after a reset, I guess.
I was on leave a whole week in the later part of November too.
I used this week to revamp my room – a plan that I have had since a year ago after painting the walls blue.
I had divided the revamping into three parts:
1. My bookshelf and display cabinet
2. My wardrobe
3. My study table & chair
My plan at first was only to work on one thing on the list that week. So I was constantly trying to figure out which one of those three options would be most practical. But even up until I was at IKEA with my Mom, I was unsure of what I wanted to do.
My Mom then suggested just doing all three components at once. I was hesitant and reluctant because I was already thinking about all the work that would have to be done.
For example, in order to switch out my bookshelf, I would have to:
1. Empty my current bookshelf
2. Find a temporary space for the books
3. Dismantle the old bookshelf
4. Move out the old bookshelf
I know it sounds simple but this was just one part of what I would have to do. Imagine then doing the same for my wardrobe and study table as well.
But we were at IKEA on Monday and my Mom reassured me that we would be able to throw out all the old furniture and make room for the new ones in time. So I decided to do all three parts of the revamp at once.
Thankfully, the delivery was scheduled for Friday that week. So my Mom and I had three to four days to figure it out.
Most of the big action happened on Thursday. I put all the clothes from my wardrobe neatly on my bed and the books from the shelf in large stacks on the floor in my room. We then slowly moved out the furniture one by one. I was really impressed with my Mom.
Side note: It was yet another blessing that Town Council was doing the collection of unwanted furniture that day too.
I made sure that there was space for all the new furniture in the spots that I had intended for them to be placed. And that night, I squeezed into the little empty space that I had left on my bed. I was afraid I would wake up in the morning to find all my folded clothes on the floor because I would have knocked everything over in my sleep but fret not, everything was in neatly stacked piles in the morning.
By late-afternoon on Friday, most of the furniture was set up with the exception of my study table and office chair – my Brother was supposed to help with those.
So I put the clothes into my new wardrobe and my books into my new bookshelf. I went out for dinner and by the time I got back, my Brother had set up the table and chair too.
In no way was it an easy week. It was a lot more stress than I had expected when I first thought of revamping a part of my room. I was really overwhelmed.
But now that I have come out on the other side, I am really thankful.
On the other hand, that week, I felt a little guilty because apparently it was pre-audit week at work. This meant that while everyone was running around trying to make sure everything was in place and ready to be checked, I was on leave.
I had no idea beforehand but I worried that that is not what some people might have chosen to believe. And of course, me not being around came up the following week in what I would call ‘passive-aggressive friendly banter’ with one individual.
I admit, I usually start these things to get a reaction – because I find it funny and entertaining – but then it gets more intense when the other party raises their voice to get their point across thus alarming everyone else in the room and making me feel self-conscious.
But all this does is force me to ‘win’ the argument or situation in any way necessary.
With that being said, when I returned to work the following week, there was still stuff that had to be done. So I helped out where I could.
I had planned to claim the rest of my leaves the last two weeks of the year. I have been looking forward to it ever since it got approved by my superior.
I was excited to take a break, laze around and hangout with my friends and family. Christmas was coming! And 2018 too!
But contrary to the ‘theme’ of these last two weeks of the year, I have been getting worked up about certain things.
Firstly, the search for the perfect Christmas gifts was really frustrating. It is really hard to not recycle the same gift ideas for my family members who are honestly, really difficult to shop for. It even made me think of sitting out of Christmas next year – I am still considering it. But I just got them gifts that I was generally satisfied with.
On top of all that stress, there was a lot of uncertainty when it came to the plans I had with my friends during these last two weeks of the year. There were all these things that I had wanted to do but of course, everyone else’s schedules do not revolve around mine nor do I expect it to.
But it is frustrating that I cannot even lock in plans because of how busy my friends are – some by choice and others by circumstance.
I get that we are all at different points in our lives and our priorities are not the same.
And I totally understand that it is also not my role to be telling people what their priorities should be.
But you cannot fault me for feeling this way. And you cannot fault me for feeling disappointed.
For some silly reason, I always thought we would have more time to hang out as we became adults. Why? Because as adults, we have more control over our time, right?
We are not restricted with a school timetable telling us where to be five days a week. But I guess I got it wrong.
This whole ‘all my friends are busy’ thing has been recurring lately and it really makes me question certain things that I thought I was over feeling skeptical about.
I am not sure if it is because I have all this free time that my mind starts to speculate and find something to worry about.
And trust me, I have tried discounting how I feel. But it feels wrong to discount my feelings especially when they have been bothering me so much lately.
Writing this post has also shown me that I am at a different point than I usually am because I am missing the silver lining that I am usually able to find by the end of my post.
You know, I usually talk about everything that is going on and how I know that I will be fine because XYZ. But now, it feels like my XYZ has been compromised or I do not even know what my XYZ is anymore that I need to adapt.
After all, this might all be a sign telling me to be more independent from this point forward. If my friends seem to be doing just fine on their own then maybe it is about time I do the same.
So I might be stumbling into 2018 but trust me – I don’t know how or when but – once I find my footing, I will be doing more than just fine, I will be doing great.
“My life might have been on pause for two years but that just means that I will be back at twice the speed.”
Until next time,