It’s been a pretty interesting month. However, I haven’t really been active on this blog due to schoolwork. It all just piled up which meant that I had to catch up on my shows over the weekend. Can you imagine the horror? Catching up on a long list of shows over the duration of two days? And it’s not like my weekends were entirely free either. You can expect a blog about November next week, only if I have enough content though. Just another eight school days till the holidays. #Excited.
Note: This post ends here but you can continue scrolling if you want to read about how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. Just remember that I’m a confused soul.
Lately, I feel like I’ve been playing one of those games where you need to turn everything around but whenever you turn something around, another few, that you turned around earlier, will turn back. (That might be confusing so just read it again if you have to)
That’s really what it feels like. And that’s cause…
1. I’m ‘overthinking’.
2. I have to walk on eggshells around people. 3. I need my friends more than they need me.
Honestly, I wish I could cancel the first one and leave the other two because that’s how I feel. But I’ll just be told that I’m overthinking. I will wonder if I really am and this continues the cycle. Reassurance from other people might be what I need sometimes but at the end of the day, I need to assure myself that it is indeed ME, that is overthinking. And I haven’t figured out a way to do that, just yet. I know this part might be similar to one of my last few posts but I’ve got a clearer picture after sorting out my thoughts and so I thought it would be better to post it again.
On the other hand, maybe the reason why point two is up there is because I let my guard down too easily. Then I goof around and say things that I only would around people I feel comfortable with, only to piss them off or send the wrong impression. It’s called BEING YOURSELF, right? But I probably do it too soon. Silly me… I’m burning bridges faster than I can rebuild old ones. There will come a time when I give up on rebuilding the bridges that I’ve burnt. And I’m not sure if it’s for better or for worse, but that ‘time’ is probably really soon. And then you have point three which is the saddest one, in my opinion. When you are replaceable, you are disposable. Sad but true. At least, I can learn to change this, so that’s a good thing.
You would think that having been through certain situations once would make it easier the second time around, but it’s just as tough. But hey! I’m not blogging my sob story. It’s not even a sob story. It’s just my way of expressing how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. Having written it out, not only do I feel better but I’ve just organised my thoughts as well. Until next time,
- Overthinking: my demise (abrolin46.wordpress.com)
- Thoughts on overthinking… (terrifiedofwaking.wordpress.com)
- Overthinking and Overthinking and Overthinking (drewthegoose.wordpress.com)
- Figuring Me Out (minuteswitharavind.wordpress.com)
- Overthink (stevenrng.wordpress.com)