#LetterByLetter is something that me and my classmates who blog are doing during the holidays. We will go down the alphabet, one for each post and write what each letter means to us. It can be something symbolic or just a word that starts with that letter. The objective is to be active on our blogs and also to see who can finish all the letters first. This is the sixth post in the series.
For this letter, I’ll be talking about FRIENDS. I feel like I’ve got so much to write about that it’s not all coming to me right now and I can’t possibly be writing an essay on this, so I shall just mention the things that come to my mind when writing this.
I really don’t use the word, ‘friend’ loosely. That’s because I feel like I’ve had tons of fake friends in the past. Those that you think care about you but they really don’t. The fact that I only have a handful of close friends from secondary school should further prove my point. And even the close friends I have now, I didn’t fully trust back then. It could be the expectations I have of a ‘friend’ being too unrealistic. Or it could just be me being overly sensitive and petty. Regardless, I’ve always believed in having a few close friends instead of a hundred acquaintances so I really am not complaining. I even came up with this really short poem during an English lesson back in secondary school.
“True friends are rare
Because many of them don’t care.
So, do be wise
And don’t take it like a game of dice.”
My expectations of a ‘friend’ are pretty much two things. As long as we can talk to each other about EVERYTHING and I know you have my back, you’re considered a friend. Some people, I can’t talk to about everything because they don’t know certain things about me. And others have shown me that they really just don’t have my back. So, with that being said, I think that these expectations aren’t very easy to meet. Now whether you are a good, close or best friend depends on how much you trust me and how deep our conversations get. And trust me, those three terms are very different levels of friendships as far as I’m concerned. And hey, I’m not saying that everyone wants to or needs to be my friend. I’m also not saying, “Oh you aren’t good enough to be my friend”. I’m just explaining my expectations of a friend.
Friendship is such a fragile thing. Someone you’re so close to right now, might be a stranger to you in the future. It can be because you had a disagreement or because priorities changed. It can even be because you don’t see each other as often anymore. I find that really sad because I have experienced that. And let me just mention that I’m experiencing that right now as well. I know, I know. Some people aren’t worth it but there are some that I do miss. However, I just have to remind myself that friendship and communication are a two-way street. They aren’t going to work just because one person puts in the effort. I might be making a friendship sound like a relationship but if you think about it, they kinda are similar in a sense. And you can’t possibly say that one is more important that the other.
Like I said in my previous post, I wear my heart on my sleeve. So, it really hurts when someone I think is a best friend, ends up not feeling open enough to talk to me about the things that are bothering him or her. It makes me feel like I haven’t been a good friend even though I try my best to be there for anyone that needs me. Here’s a quote from a cast member from the show, The Bad Girls Club.
“And I feel like that the friendship that I thought we had isn’t really what it was because you couldn’t even come to me and tell me what was bothering you.”
– Erica Lynne #BGC5
Even my best friend from secondary school and I didn’t exactly get along right way. We actually were really different. I was quiet and he was loud. I followed the rules and he didn’t really care too much. One of our first ‘altercations’ was during a PE lesson. I was seated in front of him and the class was waiting for our PE teacher. He kept poking me to annoy me and I turned around after a while and said, “I’m not afraid of you, okay!”. Then he stopped. Everything after that got better but of course we did have some hiccups along the way. I doubted our friendship throughout the third and fourth years of secondary school when we were no longer in the same class. But I can safely say that he is definitely one of my best friends and I hope it stays that way.
Note: ‘Til today, he insists that he wasn’t trying to annoy me but was actually trying to tell me something but I was ignoring him. That was not the way I remembered it but oh well.
That’s my honest opinion of how I feel about friends. We all need them in our lives and I hope we find the ones that are perfect for each of us. We should treasure and love our friends in equal measure. Until next time,