In My Head

852110236_13448670704630895532.jpgThe past three months have gone by pretty quickly and I love how it is already April. I did spend quite a lot of the time being in my head trying to figure things out. As much as I try to keep my sensitive and insecure moments to a minimum, sometimes I just cannot help myself.

But before I get to writing about those deeper moments – which are mostly in camp – I will start with the highlights from the weekends – when I am out of camp.

In February, I attended Jamie’s play, An Absolute Turkey and in March, Shaf’s play, The Illusionist. Now, I have told the both of them this – if our lives were a reality show, the ‘competition’ between the both of them over whose play is better would have been a driving force for drama the entire season. HAHA.

852115000_7199738903375841006

Post-Show Happiness Pt. 1

852106427_10438311968424328434

Post-Show Happiness Pt. 2

852120899_15357054719179011957

Post-Show Happiness Pt. 3

But no, in all seriousness, it was fun supporting the both of them. I feel like they both stepped out of their comfort zones – in different ways – and it made me proud, sitting there in the audience, watching them and being there with a flower or candy bouquet after the show. I hope to see them in action again soon.

The All In! Young Writers’ Festival was held in March too. I only attended one screening of a few short films including, I Love You More, a short film that I was involved in producing as part of a group project for a filmmaking module over a year ago.

852108574_14192373698975112955

Forgot to mention that they were both late.

852110661_15869003633612270152

But it’s okay, I forgive ya’ll.

It was nice that this project brought me, Dalene and Minyi back together a year later. (The other group members, Rachel, Sherlyn and Chels couldn’t make it.) I held off from re-watching the short film leading up to the screening because I thought that seeing it again after a long time during the screening would make it more ‘special.’ After the screening, we had lunch where we gave each other life updates and rehashed certain things that happened back during our three years in Poly. We also did some window shopping so it was some simple fun.

Later in March, I also attended a secondary school reunion with Azfar, Rosydi and Gina. It was hosted at one of our schoolmate’s house. Although I really appreciated the invite, I was hesitant and reluctant to attend from the get go. Secondary school just does not bring back the best of memories for me – I did not really fit in and back then it was quite a struggle. So it was a last minute decision to attend.

852119320_4124145708631707320

I think it has been close to two years since the four of us were last together?

852114250_12048155580142669337

I hope not another two years go by before we’re together again. *Glares at Gina*

Rosydi and Azfar could totally see how nervous I was on the bus to the reunion. And honestly, I would not have attended the reunion if they were not attending with me. I think it was just the uncertainty as to who was going to be there and how they were going to act that made me nervous. I knew Gina would be there too and since she has not been the easiest person to meet up with, seeing her there – though she showed up two hours late – was an added bonus.

The three of them were able to interact with these people that we had not seen in forever pretty easily but for me, it was awkward. Of course there was the typical army talk with the guys but none of the girls I used to be close to were there. (I believe that the invitations did not reach everyone… Oops.)

I also feel like I have evolved from who I used to be back in secondary school and so these people who did not really know me on a deeper level back then – to begin with – did not have much to say to me and likewise I did not have much to say to most of them either. After all, I was quite the wallflower for a bulk of those four years.

852113938_1162566524068694968

At least I won’t have to worry about FOMO now.

I cannot really say that I regret attending but at the same time, I cannot say I am glad I attended either.

And last night, I attended Fifth Harmony’s 7/27 Tour concert after buying the tickets way back in January. I was lucky that Khairul – a friend that I made during the two month Signals course after BMT – was willing to go with me.

852118299_2299274744562302279

Gotta thank the concert buddy for groovin’ along.

852113903_11124042982592393777852117102_574381747852835608852106225_9520362496492940591852120562_11529819706337012979

April may have only just started but this concert is most definitely a highlight. I found myself letting loose as I sang and danced my heart out. It was totally worth the wait and money and the girls were gorgeous! I felt really happy when Normani noticed and reciprocated my wave. If life was a reality show, attending this concert would have made for a perfect season finale.

In between all these key events, I think I have been doing an okay job at balancing my weekends with meet-ups and ‘me’ time. I think there was only one weekend where I contemplated between going out and staying home but I decided to go out anyway.

Life in camp has been generally alright. I tend to forget how lucky I am to have ended up in this camp and unit, in terms of workload and location. But finding my place and people, is still an issue.

A new batch of about 20 Signallers came in a month ago – a larger amount than expected. I took a genuine interest in getting to know most of them because we would have to decide who to keep with us after a two week ‘orientation’ programme – the rest would be posted out to different ‘departments’ within our unit. And since I would be working with whoever stays until next May when I leave, it was an important decision too.

We kept about a third of them. It was exciting having new people around. They were people who were easy to talk to and did work. But when you look at the big picture, the newbies did not exactly shake up the office dynamics like I had hoped.

For a start, I still feel like I lack a true confidante and ally in camp. You know, that one person that I can complain and vent to without worrying about what I said being repeated. And also the kind of person that I can make eye contact with and smile when something happens in the office because we both know that we are thinking the same thing.

I miss having that kind of connection with someone.

So I end up bottling things up in camp. Occasionally, I do let things slip because I can only hold so much in. But then I question if I should have said anything at all because I get asked if I have ‘anger issues’ or am told that I am ‘oversensitive.’

Do not get me wrong. I am still able to be myself in camp. I disturb and annoy almost everyone around me. And this is an indication that I have reached a certain level of comfort around these people. But there are different layers to every relationship and with these people, it is most definitely on the surface.

It doesn’t help that they do not really get me. I am a lot of things but these people know me best to be ‘annoying.’ I can own that but it does get exhausting when that seems to be the only word people associate you with – even if lightheartedly.

For now, there are only about two to three individuals in camp who I ‘trust.’ It being really easy to rub me the wrong way could be one reason for this low number. But I guess, there just is not that much in common to forge strong bonds over. And with everyone on their phones most of the time, there is barely any attempt at conversation to find common topics either.

Sure, they bond over playing the same mobile games. And so it would be a lot easier if I just downloaded this game and played along. But I told myself back in secondary school that I was not going to change just to fit in and I still want to keep that promise to myself. Call me stubborn or difficult but I am not going to do something that I would not normally do just to get by.

There are also other things that have happened or been said that got the wheels in my head turning. But at the end of the day, I know I can’t let what people think, say or do affect my spirit. It is just hard to remember at times especially when there is no one in your environment to remind you of that.

So I am going to try to care less and not add up the nothings into something. I know it is not going to be easy and I will probably be in my head again by the end of the week – after all, it does keep me occupied. But I will be working on it. Whatever happens, happens.

Fifth Harmony sang in their song, ‘Brave Honest Beautiful’:

“Don’t go and waste your precious time with all that nonsense on your mind.”

And this reminder is why I feel like the Fifth Harmony concert is a perfect finale.

Until next time,

PEACE OUT.

Advertisements

The Dreaded Next Chapter Pt. 2

I’ve told you everything you need to know about my internship. And you already know about some of the post-internship decisions I had to make. So this post is more about the things that are going to happen – whether I like it or not – before the current chapter closes and the next one begins.

Picking up from where I left off, I started tearing when I read the date on my enlistment letter because I was feeling a mix of fear and sadness. I was afraid of the unknown. And I was also upset that I had just two months before everything changed for two whole years. I revealed the news to some friends and I also told my Dad about it. However, it was the chat I had with my older brother that night that gave me a renewed confidence that I will be just fine. My brother basically answered any question I had, based on his experience. He told me to break up the two years into smaller portions and that made me realise that for now, all I need to worry about is the first two weeks of confinement because after that, at least I should be able to head home every weekend – unless there’s a twist.

I’ve been trying to prepare myself mentally and physically but it hasn’t exactly been easy. I feel conflicted between spending the two months working out as opposed to lazing around while I can. So far, I would like to think I’ve been doing an alright job at balancing both. And I hope that keeping that up or doing better will make me feel more confident and comfortable in the days leading up to my enlistment.

I’ve always known that it’s not going to be easy and that’s why I’ve been dreading it. I mean I’ve never been the fittest and it’s going to be tough keeping my emotions in check. But I do look forward to seeing myself change for the better throughout the next two years. I just hope that I don’t lose what my friends call, a ‘killer’ smile in the process.

“I’m stronger than you think and tougher than I know.”

The next thing that is going to happen whether I like it or not is graduation. And before the graduation ceremony was the graduation show – DTVM Awards – which literally happened two days ago. It’s a tradition for every class to put up a performance at the DTVM Awards. In Year 1, my class put on a skit. In Year 2, we hosted a game. And now, in Year 3, we filmed a music video parody. Although, I was initially against the idea of filming a music video because of the amount of time and energy we would have to invest into it, I’m glad we ended up pulling through. Because looking back, it wasn’t just a music video that we created, it was memories too. I can’t wait for us to look back at both the music video and blooper reel in years to come and cry and laugh in equal measure.

“If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

– Jim Valvano

It was during the process of filming the music video that I started to wonder how anything else that is to come can possibly top the people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had over the past three years. I’ve laughed, I’ve thought and I’ve cried over the past three years enough to feel complete. And I definitely feel like DTVM is something special that I will always have with me.

851316478_6140276239344206051.jpg

The cast of the music video in our #Kidzania outfits. (Missing Shantel, Sam and Eunice)

851302511_16746862271335248983.jpg

#ThugLife selfie.

851312009_3851123583065021688.jpg

#Flannel selfie.

851316797_6636222694169919852.jpg

#BusinessFormal selfie.

I was expecting to cry during the video montage of the past three years, at the DTVM Awards but it was taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture that got me emotional.

“And yes, I know we all love each other but the fact is the glue that holds high school friendships together is high school. Being around each other everyday, seeing each other in the halls, whenever something is up we don’t have to do any work to talk to our friends about it; they’re right there. As soon as it takes effort, we get lazy and then we forget and then we just move on. I don’t want to fade away.”

– Tina Cohen Chang (Glee)

The recycled quote above sums up my sentiments perfectly. Over the three years, we have all found our immediate circle of friends. And I’m sure we’ll all do a great job at keeping in touch with the people within that immediate circle. What saddens me is the thought that we won’t make the same effort to keep in touch with the people outside that circle who we still consider our friends.

I know we went six months without seeing each other everyday during our internships. And that little gathering we had in the middle for Christmas felt special, for that reason. And now every time we see each other, it doesn’t really feel like anything has changed other than time having passed by and us knowing that graduation is approaching. All I’m hoping for is that we try to keep the bond that we now share even if we get busy and even if it isn’t as convenient as it once used to be and even if we have new friends to fill that void.

851331306_7081016779565971382.jpg

I want to walk down a real red carpet with these people.

851333723_8139249685544550380.jpg

The #ILoveYouMore Team.

851333770_1105885122105369314.jpg

The #WeAreTheMob Team.

851335946_11188025718721366418.jpg

With Shaf, Chels and Jamie. (I hope the official photos turned out better.)

I want to be there in the future, to hear about the new TV show they’re developing or about the cover story of their magazine or about a event I can attend to show my support. I know it will take some time for all of us to get there given that we will have to spend three to four years in University or three to four years climbing up that hierarchy in this industry but I know we’ll get there.

I still have some time before my enlistment and I’m sure I’m bound to feel nervous the closer I get to it. There are a couple of tiny things I wish to accomplish before I enlist. I will try my best to use my time productively while still allocating time for lazing around and doing nothing. It’s going to be just fine. I’ll be just fine.

“The best use of imagination is creativity. The worst use of imagination is anxiety.”

– Deepak Chopra

Until next time,

PEACE OUT.

 

The Dreaded Next Chapter Pt. 1

851308060_17565520857495396106.jpg

Since I last wrote a blog post, my internship ended, I contemplated extending my stay at my internship company, figured out university applications, received my National Service enlistment letter and participated in my final production as a DTVM student.

Let’s go in chronological order, starting with the end of my internship.

The last few weeks of my internship wasn’t any different than before. I still had transcriptions to complete and documents to scan for the main project I was attached to but the to-do list was getting shorter and shorter as my final week was approaching.

On days where I was not needed at the office, I was needed to help out on shoot for another project. I must say that I am glad I got the chance to work on both projects. It allowed me to compare certain aspects of TV production as the size of the crew and my job scope for each project was slightly different. But of course, on my final few days, the things I had to complete for both projects came to a head. There was so many things to settle and I thought back to what one of my friendly colleagues told me.

851335447_4446575684409067170.jpg

A selfie taken after the shoot with friendly production crew members.

“People like us will never have an easy last day. We’re too responsible.”

I didn’t believe her at the time but it turned out to be true. I don’t mean to flatter myself but I have to give myself some credit for always providing a certain quality to the work that I am tasked with. So it took longer than expected but eventually I managed to complete everything.

With that being said, I have to thank the friendly colleagues who made my 22-week internship easier. They treated me like one of their own and made me feel so much more comfortable at work. During my final week, they treated me to a farewell meal and in return, I wrote them cards as my humble way of thanking them for everything. I owe them a lot more than just cards and I hope that I will be able to give back to them somehow, some way, in the future.

851333225_444088122731837428.jpg

Here are the friendly colleagues who made my time so much easier.

As cliche as it may sound, I definitely feel like I have grown from the internship experience . It was not easy having to adapt to the ‘real world.’ I even felt uncomfortable and uneasy at times. But like The Biggest Loser host, Bob Harper, said, “I think that growth happens when you are at your most uncomfortable.”

Now, before I could close this internship chapter for good, I was presented with an offer to prolong the chapter – at the very least – until the end of May. I considered the offer because the project was something I thought I would enjoy working on. I discussed it with family, friends and colleagues and ultimately chose to do what I felt was best for me – taking the break that I have earned.

I have been looking forward to this break forever and I would be sabotaging myself by committing to another three months of work with only a two week break in-between the end of my internship and the start of the new project.

I felt good about my decision for about 36 hours into my break until I noticed everyone around me either working or extending their internship or knowing exactly what their next step was going to be. It made me start looking for something too. I estimated my enlistment date to fall in August and that meant I would have at least a six-month break. I could see myself chilling at home for about two to three months but finding a job after that would leave me yet another small window to rest before enlisting. Eventually I just told myself to take a chill pill and surprisingly, this was one of the times I actually listened to myself. And I am so glad I did as it turns out I am not enlisting in August. (More on that later.)

Starting my internship two weeks earlier than everyone else meant I finished my internship two weeks earlier. I think these two weeks were crucial for me to figure out my university applications. One of my closest friends from secondary school, Azfar, has been urging me to think about it forever but I always put it off. Thereby, these two weeks came in handy for me to figure it out and actually complete the application process – which was pretty tedious. I ended up applying for NUS’s Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (FASS) as well as NTU’s Communication Studies as my top choices.

I attended the NTU Open House hoping to be excited by the prospects of studying there (just like when I attended the SP Open House) but it turned out to be pretty dull. After sitting through three talks, I didn’t even want to attend the NUS Open House, the following weekend. As of right now, I am still leaning towards NTU but there is one important factor to consider and I’ll worry about it when the time comes. (Oh and thanks Azfar for helping me out when I was bugging you to help me check everything. I really appreciate it!)

Now, moving on to National Service. I was out with Chelsea and Shafna after watching Zootopia when I received a text from Rosydi about how he received his enlistment letter. When I found out that he was enlisting in May, the wheels in my head started turning. I couldn’t wait to return home to check my letter box, just so I could clear any anxiety I had about my enlistment. Ideally, I would open the letter box to nothing that was addressed to me but of course, when I checked my letter box, there it was.

I still had a little hope. My enlistment date could still be much later than May, right? So I dashed to my room and slowly opened the letter to find out I was enlisting on May 18 2016.

It wasn’t long before tears started streaming down my face.

(I’m ending this instalment of “The Dreaded Next Chapter” here because I’ve gone beyond 1000 words and this is Minutes with Aravind not Hours with Aravind. But I think I ended it at a pretty dramatic cliffhanger, eh?)

Until next time,

PEACE OUT.

Checkpoint

Another pretty picture.

I’ve been on holiday for three weeks and I’m left with three more. As something like a checkpoint, I decided to return to write another blog post, right before March ends and also right before I head off for a camp. Can you believe that a quarter of 2015 is nearly over?

The past couple of weeks have been really packed with activities and I don’t know how to feel about that. Part of me feels happy that I have things going on but the other part of me just wants to laze at home, binge-watching TV shows and movies.

The first week of the holidays was pretty dull. I had two compulsory workshops, three days straight. I didn’t really enjoy the workshops but I’m glad they’re over. I’m not saying that the workshop didn’t help me but I think that the main take-away from the workshop for me, was to practice and so the rest of it felt a little redundant. On the first day of the workshop, when the instructor was waiting for everyone to settle down, I felt so out of place because everybody around me was sitting with their friends and there I was sitting alone. But a few minutes later, Viena walked in and I felt ‘saved’. It was nice and comforting having a familiar face around.

Wouldn't have survived without Viena... Really!

Really wouldn’t have survived without Viena.

Later that week, I also met up with Shaf, Jamie and Chels for some dessert at Coldstone Creamery and some window shopping around town too. It was nice reflecting on the past school year and speculating what’s to come.

Screen Shot 2015-03-29 at 9.46.46 pm

It had been so long since I last had Coldstone! I also needed a reward for getting through the rough semester.

Do you like my hat?

Do you like my hat?

The place where this picture was taken has great lighting, doesn't it?

The place where this picture was taken has great lighting, doesn’t it?

Do you like our caps?

Do you like our caps?

The second week I had to go down to school one day to attend to some CASS Club matters. I had to collate all the paper work that I had done as the secretary and hand it up. It wasn’t too much work since I already had everything neatly organised on my laptop. The club president, Raf, helped me print everything and so I didn’t have that much work left to do.

Raf said that I look good here. Hmmm...

Raf said that I look good here. Hmmm…

I initially thought Raf was taking a selfie with her phone but I realised she was using my phone.

I initially thought Raf was taking the selfie with her phone but I soon realised she was using my phone.

Two days later, I attended the taping of the Asia’s Got Talent semi-finals. Before the taping, I met up with Chels for lunch. The plan was to use Google maps to locate a Pastamania near Suntec City (near Temasek Boulevard, to be exact) but in the end we couldn’t find it. So, we settled for The Manhattan Fish Market. During the taping, we unfortunately couldn’t take any pictures. The talents were entertaining and the judges were great too. It was a fun experience and definitely a step-up from the other game show tapings that I had attended.

The next day, I met up with Sydi and Azfar in town cause they had some shopping to do. I actually found a denim shirt that fit me perfectly at H&M (and it was on sale too!). But I realised that it didn’t go with any of the bottoms that I owned so… I had to pass on it.

I was twirling in this capey-hoodie-coat thingy.

I was twirling in this capey-hoodie-coat thingy.

Oh, here's a rare picture where they aren't making silly faces.

Oh, here’s a rare picture where they aren’t making silly faces.

And finally on Friday, it was the DTVM Awards which is the graduation show for my course, Creative Writing for TV & New Media (DTVM). The previous week when I met up with the girls, I was asking them for opinions on my outfit options. I really didn’t want to buy anything new for the event so it was just a lot of mixing and matching what i already owned. After dozens of combinations, I sent them two options and they all agreed on one outfit so I didn’t worry too much about what I was going to wear after that.

Here's the chosen outfit... I love this picture!

Here’s the chosen outfit… I love this picture!

The event went well as far as I’m concerned. The performance my class put up – which was actually just a simple game of charades – went smoothly. I will admit that because there were so many things going on around me and in my head, I was a little stressed out from thinking too much. But by the end of the night, it was just sad that the night marked the end of the seniors’ journey in DTVM. I’m so glad I actually got to know the seniors. They are friendly and talented and supportive. I was not exaggerating when I tweeted that I believe they have bigger and better things coming their way. And of course, the night also reminded me that I only have a year left with my classmates and so I do want to make the most of it.

DTVM Year 2 01 <3

DTVM Year 2 01 ❤

My busy week didn’t end there though. I met up with An, Shaf and Jamie on Saturday to bake scones! It was an interesting experience to say the least. We also watched Birdman which was not my cup of tea, at all. When Jamie described the premise in her movie review, I was really interested in watching the movie. But although the movie was shot by talented cameramen in a very creative way, I didn’t really appreciate the creativity. I just wanted to watch a ‘normal’ movie, if that makes sense?

They look good, don't they?

They look good, don’t they?

As you can see, while they were busy working, I was busy taking pictures.

As you can see, while they were busy working, I was busy taking pictures.

Jamie hard at work.

Jamie hard at work.

A very 'artistic' shot taken by Jamie.

A very ‘artistic’ shot taken by Jamie.

The third week has been another busy week. I had some freshmen orientation camp stuff to attend to on Monday and Wednesday. I expected a lot of chaos but it turned out pretty fun which is also how I think the actual camp would turn out. It’s all about who you surround yourself with, I believe.

I got to dress up in this 'god' outfit for the filming of a teaser. I love this picture!

I got to dress up in this outfit for the filming of a teaser for the camp. I love this picture!

On Thursday, I met up with the girls again but this time, to cook. We had done this ‘cooking’ thing before so I was pretty confident it will turn out good. I don’t even know the name of what we made but what I do know is that it tasted good. I preferred what we made the previous time though. Anyway, we caught a bit of the new cycle of Asia’s Next Top Model on TV while we were eating. We all agreed it was missing something. The show was pretty dull. Later, we watched a bit of Dance Moms before switching off the TV to just talk. Let me just say that, yes, I was surprised that we watched parts of two reality shows in one day. Who would have thought, right? Now, if only we could marathon entire episodes of some other reality shows I watched but I know, I know, I won’t get my hopes up. (I can already picture Chels rolling her eyes as she reads this) In the late evening, we left Jamie’s place and headed home.

Believe it or not, this was just the first part of our meals.

Believe it or not, this was just the first part of our meals.

On Friday, I headed to school to meet Azfar and Sydi. We like to make use of school facilities such as the board games and game consoles at the library and the bowling alley when no one else does. It was honestly so much fun playing Cluedo. We played a couple of rounds and with the exception of the first round (which I won because Azfar revealed something after he lost), we all made the wrong accusation and died in the other rounds. It was also pretty cool dancing terribly to songs on Dance Central. The best part is that I didn’t have to worry about them recording my terrible dancing too. After that we headed to the bowling alley and I did not suck that badly this time. Sydi still won though. We wrapped up the night with dinner at Burger Up, dessert at McDonald’s and a couple of games at Timezone. It was a great day overall. I still feel like playing Cluedo now.

We played Fifa for a while. I tried really hard to get a red card when it was my turn and I did.

We played Fifa for a while. I tried really hard to get a red card when it was my turn and I did.

I can't wait to play this game again.

I can’t wait to play this game again.

Another rare picture of them not making silly faces!

Another rare picture of them not making silly faces!

Three weeks have gone by and I’m left with another three. The first remaining week of my holidays will be burnt by the Freshmen Orientation Camp that I’m involved in. Like I mentioned at the start of this post, it starts tomorrow and I will actually be heading out tomorrow morning. I’m hoping that I will be able to worry less and have fun more. I’ll give an update when I get back, hopefully!

Until then,

PEACE OUT.

Good Food, Greater Company

The last week of the holidays has been pretty eventful.

On Monday and Tuesday, there was this magazine revamp thing in school. There were a total of 19 of us who signed up. We were split into three teams. On my team, I had KX, Nica, Nadhirah, Hasinah and Rachel. The first day, we basically came up with ideas as to what we wanted our magazine to be and how to improve it. There was this whole design thinking process where we used our research too. Anyway, by the end of the day, I really liked what my team came up with but the other teams had pretty interesting ideas too. We also had a rehearsal for our presentation the next day before going home.

The A-Team (without Hasinah)

The A-Team (without Hasinah because she didn’t want to be in the photo)

The second day, my team met earlier to rehearse our presentation. We rehearsed it like twice and then we rushed to SPH. I swear the train moves a lot slower when you are running late. But we made it on time. So, the original creator of the magazine gave us all a briefing on what the magazine was all about and other things that we should know. He told us that the magazine should be primarily local content and that’s when Nica looked at me and I realised that our chances of winning just dropped drastically. Our whole theme for the mock-up was ‘Heroes’ based off how Big Hero 6 is popular amongst kids this month. Oh well…

Anyway fast forward three presentations and intense Q&A segments which poked holes in all three of our ideas, the original creator decided on a winning team which was not my team. Honestly, I was happy for the winners. Their pictures were going to be on Berita Harian and they received $60 Popular vouchers. I compared it to a Top Model challenge where the winners get a reward. But in this case, the rest of us got a reward too – a goodie bag and $20 Popular vouchers(which I have yet to spend). It was fun and I had no regrets!

Then came Wednesday and Thursday which were my day-offs. Well, actually I did do some work but other than that, I just caught up on my TV shows. I realised that it’s extremely hard for me to have a day-off without worrying about the assignments and long list of things to do. And on top of that, since we have our phones with us all the time these days, there is the possibility of something coming up which could ruin the day-off. Anyway, I watched the season finale of The Comeback on Wednesday and it blew my mind. I am going to write a post on why you should watch it sometime next week. I already have a couple of reasons on my mind.

Then came Friday which was closer to a day-off as compared to the previous two days. It would have been a perfect day had I not read the email in the morning about our potential documentary profiles for an assignment. However, Friday has three day’s worth of activities squeezed into one.

Anyway, today was the day that Chelsea, Jamie, Shaf and I were supposed to attempt cooking and also make our vision boards. We had been looking up recipes and decided on cheese tortellini and Cali chicken. Shaf was supposed to buy the vision boards and meet us once the rest of the three of us were done shopping for the ingredients. But I woke up late and so although I felt bad, this allowed all four of us to do the shopping together and I think that started us off on the right foot.

The shopping was fun as we searched for required ingredients while at the same time wondering if it was worth following the recipe entirely or making our own edits. And then we also spent some time searching for mascarpone cheese which was not available. So we substituted it with something else that I can’t exactly remember right now.  Once we got all our ingredients we made our way to Chelsea’s place.

I honestly thought that I would be of no help in the kitchen. After all too many cooks spoil the broth, right? But what we had was just the right amount of people since we were cooking two dishes. We split up into pairs and I actually helped. This gave me more satisfaction when we were eating lunch later since I had a part in it. YAY. We spent about two to three hours cooking our two dishes. The first hour was spent brining the chicken and boiling the tortellini and the last 30-60 minutes was spent cooking the dishes in the oven. So, I guess we didn’t take that long after all.

Anyway in-between all of this, Shaf got to meet Rainee and Eden for the first time. Jamie avoided Rainee and rolled her eyes almost every time Rainee barked. While I attempted petting Rainee (when Chelsea challenged me to) but Rainee kept putting her face in my hand. So, I gave up in the fear that she would bite me and petted Eden instead. But then later, I told Chels that I wanted to try with Rainee again. And this time, it was a SUCCESS. This was one of the little things that made my day.

"Okay, you can have one picture."

Eden: “Okay, you can have ONE picture.”

"What are you STILL doing here?"

Eden: “What are you STILL doing here?”

"What is this thing that you are pointing at me?"

Rainee: “What is this thing that you are pointing at me?”

"You smell better than Chelsea."

Rainee:”You smell better than Chelsea.”

Once the food was ready at about 3pm, we all dug in (after taking photos) and I was really proud of all of us. The food tasted really good. I definitely want to try cooking again. Perhaps, we could try something else next time?

Extremely proud of myself for taking this picture.

Extremely proud of myself for taking this picture.

A selfie with our hard work a.k.a our lunch.

A selfie with our hard work a.k.a our lunch.

After lunch, we all regrouped in Chelsea’s room to make our vision boards. I know I was the one that suggested us doing this but I’m not quite sure what inspired me to do so. I have been looking forward to making this board forever though so I’m glad it was finally happening. We all brought some magazines to look through and cut out the stuff that we like and want. My approach was cutting out motivational messages and pictures of celebrities that I like. And I also put a couple of polaroids with friends on the board too since they are important to me. We spent about two hours on our boards before leaving at around 6.30pm. As of right now, my board isn’t ready yet. I still have a couple of gaps to fill up.

I know it seems like that is enough fun for a day but my day was far from over. I met the dudes (Azfar and Rosydi) at Northpoint for dinner too! The plan was to try BurgerUp, this new fast food restaurant and also watch Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb. BurgerUp was alright. The fries were a little too salty but the fish burger was really good. We did have to wait quite some time but I didn’t really have any problem with that since I had people to talk to and I wasn’t starving hungry after that lunch. We filled each other in on the latest happenings in our lives which wasn’t exactly that much but for some reason, we never run out of things to talk about every time we meet.

BurgerUP allows you to DIY your burger.

BurgerUP allows you to DIY your burger.

Much love for these two amigos.

Much love for these two amigos.

The movie was good. I’m glad I re-watched the previous two movies last week so I was prepared. Something I thought was interesting is how they sort of implied that a character was gay. On the other hand, I think that they wrapped up the series really well. It felt as though they had everything planned out before they started on the first movie which goes to show how they had a perfect ending instead of a convenient one. I’m going to miss the series and the loveable characters, that’s for sure.

After the movie, we sat at McDonald’s talking again. We sort of already have ‘plans’ for the next long holiday. So, I am pretty excited about that.

A new school term is about to start and I guess I’m pretty prepared. Stay tuned!

PEACE OUT.

Obligatory Post About 2014

“Remind me of the good and all the bad (I know, I know)
Remind me of everything that we had (I know, I know)
Right now it’s so clear
This year has been the best and the worst year
I hear it’s all uphill from here
This year has been the best and the worst year
I hear it’s all uphill from here”

– Cooper (This Year)

Happy New Year to everyone reading this. The lyrics above describe my sentiments pretty well. A few months ago, I was asking Shaf if “I hear it’s all uphill from here” meant that things are going to get better or if things are going to get tougher. And she told me that she believes it’s both. That makes sense, doesn’t it? I strongly urge you to listen to this song and reflect on 2014.

 

Anyway, before speculating about 2015, I should look back and say that 2014 has been a great year. There were the ups and downs like any other year. But what I think was different about this year is that I understood my thoughts, feelings and emotions a lot better and I also got a better grasp of what kind of person I am. Now, I’m not saying I have everything figured out. What I’m saying is that it’s the clearest things have been over the past couple of years and so I’m definitely glad for that.

Some highlights of 2014 are… the trip to Japan. I never thought I would be getting on a plane anytime soon. I attended two camps, back-to-back and I am not a huge fan of camps. Three cousins got married. Me and my brother have been crossing paths and talking more. Mum watching some of my reality shows with me. I still managed to keep in contact and hang out with the three friends that matter from secondary school. (And I hope to continue doing that for years to come.)  I finally got to dress up as “A” from Pretty Little Liars. Shaf and I continued making Youtube videos for all of us to look back at in a few years time. The DTVM Hacker. *breathes*

Meeting Chelsea’s children, Rainee and Eden. Seeing Shantel perform at SDZ Waves 19. We had a successful class chalet. Taking plenty of selfies with Jamie (in one day) and surviving the LEAP camp with her. Jesleen’s red hair and her unique actions and sayings. D&D-ing with the Kavengers and KX. Shopping with Dalene. Completing assignments ASAP with Alicia. Having more than just one other person that watches Survivor, The Amazing Race, Big Brother and Top Model around me. Attending the Asia TV Forum with Hus where I got to meet a Power Ranger. Blogging #LetterByLetter with the fellow bloggers in my class. And of course disturbing everyone around me. The train rides home after a long day. The many hugs. And lastly the many meals together.

Throughout the past 365 days, I am proud of myself for keeping my cool in stressful and frustrating situations (most of the time). With the memory of a few cliche motivational quotes and sayings, a couple of breakdowns and plenty of solo sob sessions, I managed to get through the year. And of course, I must also give credit to the great people I have around me – to vent to, seek advice from and for a laugh. So, I guess, I really want to keep that up in 2015.

I am also proud of myself for coming out of my shell. For those who think that I have always been that ‘outgoing’ well obviously you weren’t around a few years ago. My overthinking and worry wart tendencies, tend to hold me back sometimes. And I definitely want to break out of my shell more or at least continue doing what I am doing if you think that I am already out of my shell.

There are obviously some things I am not too proud of. They generally involve irrational feelings and emotions and a lack of focus on the right things. These are the things that I think I could work on for 2015.

I really want to spend more time with family instead of sitting in my room all the time. And one solution to that is basically finding TV shows that I don’t mind watching on the television so that I spend more time in the living room.

I also need to focus on the right stuff when it comes to school. In other words, no distractions. All I need is to continue having good people around me and the motivation to power through all the assignments.

I’m sure there are more things that I need to work on but that’s about all I can think of at this hour. Here’s to a whole new crazy, exciting and beautiful year ahead.

Until next time,

PEACE OUT.

From BBQs to Glow Sticks (And Everything In-Between)

Screen Shot 2014-10-04 at 11.24.45 pm

The much anticipated class chalet is over and I can’t decide if it was exactly what I expected it to be or if it was better than I expected. So, here I go reflecting on the 3D2N experience.

Pre-chalet, the only planning me and Minyi had to do was to finalise the date and choice of the chalet as well as to order the food for the barbecue. Although it doesn’t seem like much, we did have to accommodate to as many people’s schedules and preferences as possible, so I would say it wasn’t as easy as you think. Then we couldn’t decide if to organise and plan activities. Minyi was all up for it but I felt like not everyone would participate if we did and then it would have been a wasted effort. So, I tried convincing her that it should just be a chalet for us to hangout and chill. Let people find their own way of entertaining themselves, right?

Leading up to the chalet, the people around me were excited and we always talked about what we should do at the chalet. The chalet this year was six to eight times bigger than the chalet last year. And of course, this time we also had a barbecue planned. Those were just some simple reasons as to why I was excited and looking forward to it.

So when the day came, about 11 of us met up at Pasir Ris MRT and made our way to the chalet together by bus. We got off at the wrong stop and had to walk a little thanks to Huszainy. Then we waited outside the reception since we couldn’t check in earlier than the allocated time. I had wanted to arrive earlier so we could explore the place but there wasn’t exactly any place around to explore. After like 20-30 minutes of waiting, we were given our keys and briefed on the do’s and don’ts before we made our way to the chalet.

Screen Shot 2014-10-04 at 11.07.12 pm

As we waited for the bus, I attempted a group selfie but… I evidently failed to capture everyone.

Screen Shot 2014-10-04 at 11.39.00 pm

A bus just for us! … And other commuters. (Credit: Shafna)

Jamie and I had planned to run into the house and start screaming and cheering like they do on Top Model but we had some trouble opening the main door so that killed our momentum. Regardless, when we entered we had a good look around and I think some of us started claiming our rooms. There were four rooms in total and I knew that I wasn’t exactly planning on sleeping so I didn’t actually care too much to claim a room. I must mention that Minyi and Nica decided that it would be the smartest thing to do by screaming when entering a room because something had moved. The same thing happened when the door was about to close behind them. Gosh… Well, you can thank the wind for that.

Everyone then sat down in the living room. Sam provided us with some entertainment by connecting her laptop to the TV in the living room. We watched some music videos (including Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’ which in my opinion, became the theme song of the chalet). As more people arrived at the chalet, the living room became more lively. Then someone suggested going on Omegle and so we did. Chelsea and I started chatting with random strangers until we got banned for some reason. Oh well…

Chilling in the living room. (Credit: Shafna)

For quite some time, there was no food and drinks around. I felt like it was my fault and because of poor planning but I was comforted with the realisation that everyone was old enough to take care of themselves. In addition, one of our lecturers was supposed to be arriving soon with a car full of snacks and drinks. When the first two lecturers arrived, some of us helped transfer the snacks and drinks from the car to the kitchen. And #damn there was loads of snacks and drinks. From cup noodles to biscuits to Pringles and nachos and plenty of drinks too.

A little while later the barbecue food arrived and it was time to start the fire. Minyi and Huszainy were the main ones working on the fire with the support of a lot of people as the others tried fanning the fire in hopes of keeping the fire going (I think). And as time passed, it was nice to see people taking turns to fan the fire and to barbecue the food. On the other hand, I didn’t want to get involved with that since I really had no experience. So, I helped play some music alongside Dalene, Jesleen and Nica on Vera’s speakers. After everyone was fed, some played ‘mind games’ with the lectures while the rest of us were chilling at the dining table. We pretended to be judges on Top Model auditioning potential models. HAHA.

Almost everyone took turns helping out with the barbecue. #Teamwork. (Credit: Shafna)

Screen Shot 2014-10-04 at 11.34.44 pm

Looks pretty good, doesn’t it? (Credit: Shafna)

As time passed, those who weren’t staying overnight left and then I retreated to one of the rooms with some people. Before we started a game of Truth or Truth, we all took turns showering since everyone else was at the dining table playing games or in the living room watching shows on the TV, courtesy of Sam’s laptop.

The girls tried styling my wet hair and said I look better with my hair slicked back... Meh.

The girls tried styling my wet hair and said I look better with my hair slicked back but I’m not too sure about that.

Before we started Truth or Truth, we decided to use some glow sticks that I brought. (My brother had passed them to me and it was not like they were going to be of any use to me at home, so I decided to bring them to the chalet.) The game lasted for a really really long time until people got tired and some decided to go to sleep.

For a long time, this is all you could see in our room.

For a long time, this is all you could see in our room.

Me and Chelsea tried to sleep on the floor since all the beds were occupied. But she got up and left without saying anything and I followed soon after. But I’m glad I did because Chelsea, Shantel, Sam and Wesley were chilling in the living room watching some show. Belicia and Jessica were there but they fell asleep shortly after I joined them. After whatever they were watching ended, Sam introduced us to a show called, Faking It and it was really good! Whoever is reading this should look it up if you don’t know what it’s about. Thanks for the intro, Sam!

faking-it-2

For some reason, I’m adding this picture hoping it will make you want to check it out.

After that, some people decided to go watch the sunrise. I’ve never actually tried to watch the sunrise so I decided to tag along. Plus, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have had anything else to do since everyone else was asleep. The sunrise was pretty but it took a long while to rise and a long walk to get to where we decided to watch it rise. I was impatient and kinda lazy so…

I didn't stay to watch the sun rise any further than this. #Impatient

I didn’t stay to watch the sun rise any further than this. #Impatient

But here's a stolen picture from someone who did stay to watch it rise. (Credit: Eunice)

But here’s a stolen picture from someone who decided to stay to watch the sun rise. (Credit: Eunice)

When we got back to the chalet, Chelsea and I wanted to have some beer in the morning… Root beer that is! And I asked anyone who walked past if they wanted to join us in having some beer before telling them that I was referring to root beer. HAHA. Colin and Jamie then woke up and joined us in the kitchen where Chelsea and I were hanging out. We had dragged in two chairs and positioned ourselves directly in front of the fan. As we were sitting around, I suggested we play competitive rounds of Heads Up! against each other. And it was really back and forth but obviously I’m going to say that Chelsea and I crushed Colin and Jamie. Like duh.

At around nine or ten in the morning, Shafna and Minyi arrived. While some people were thinking of heading out for breakfast, the two of them started the “Cup Noodles For Breakfast” movement and they were joined by another six to eight people including me. After that, we headed up to a room to play charades. I was extremely competitive… I couldn’t help myself. But we strangely didn’t establish a winning team at the end of it.

Screen Shot 2014-10-04 at 11.40.55 pm

Only Alicia can make eating cup noodles look so glamorous. I don’t even know if I’m being sarcastic. (Credit: Shafna)

As afternoon approached, more people had left and we were down by quite a number of people. Everyone gathered in the living room where we played musical chairs. I was eliminated early both times I participated… I think. After that, we agreed on barbecue-ing the leftovers from yesterday. As more food was added to the dining table it became official that we were having a family lunch together. So everyone pitched in and helped in some way. Either to clean up, to microwave or to barbecue. It was nice.

I’m not used to having meals with my family so this was really nice. (Credit: Minyi)

I'm not used to having meals with my family so this was really nice.

A selfie with all of us at the dining table from a different angle. (Credit: Huszainy)

After that, Jamie, Chelsea and I decided to take a two hour nap so that we could stay up longer, later that night. And I feel proud to say that I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours. That’s a first. When I woke up, someone had called for a meeting in one of the rooms to discuss dinner plans. Whether to head out and have dinner or to have food delivered to us. Everyone agreed on McDonald’s. I was telling myself not to have dinner after having both breakfast and lunch as I was feeling extremely bloated. But I caved in to peer pressure.

Screen Shot 2014-10-04 at 11.24.58 pm

Vera, Huszainy, Shafna and I being silly after discussing our dinner plans. Felt like a #RichKids moment.

Let's be shady together.

Let’s be shady together.

Everyone had dinner together at the dining table once again. After which I felt even more bloated. I decided to walk around and ended up climbing up and down the stairs ten times. It didn’t really help but at least I tried. Later, we all gathered in one of the rooms for another session of talking into the late night. There were ghost stories and then we digressed into our favourite memories from the past semester. Eventually everyone got restless and we were just started lazing around. We spent some time playing Icomania on Jamie’s phone, searching for answers on Google when we had no clue.

That night, we were down to nine people which meant enough beds for everyone! I roomed with Huszainy and Alicia. While Huszainy was away, I decided to annoy Alicia to the best of my ability. I read out her Instagram captions with a certain accent and made her cringe every time. It was hilarious. I’m referring to her reaction but yes her captions were hilarious too. But we eventually fell asleep.

The next day, we woke up two hours before check-out time to clean up but we were left with a lot of spare time. So, we watched those advertisements where they promote a product and ask you to call in to buy the product. I really can’t remember what the term for it is. We made fun of how scripted the ads were and at the same time we were annoyed by how repetitive the ads were. However, we didn’t have anything else to watch.

Eventually, the people came to inspect the chalet and we found out that a teaspoon and a chopstick were missing. In the end, we weren’t charged for the loss either so it was all cool. We all then made our way home and split up accordingly.

Screen Shot 2014-10-04 at 11.08.22 pm

As far as I’m concerned, If this was a reality show, the three of us would be the ‘Final Three’.

I didn’t think I would have so much to write about but clearly a lot happened over the three days and two nights and I honestly have no regrets. There isn’t exactly anything I would change. Yes, I know some of you know that I wanted to change something but I just really don’t care about it anymore. Everything happened the way it should and I enjoyed the chalet. Until next time, PEACE OUT.