“I think life is just a big con.”

“One day, Sabine just said to Hector, ‘I think life is just a big con.’

Startled, Hector asked, ‘What do you mean?’ (That was what he always said when he hadn’t been listening properly the first time.)

‘Well, you’re born, and straight away you have to rush about, go to school, and then work, have children, and then your parents die and then before you know it you get old and die too.'”

–    Hector Finds Time by François Lelord

It is important to me, for me to have time to do the things I love and enjoy even when I am ‘not supposed to’ have the time. These things include spending time with friends and family, getting my daily dose of reality TV and sitcoms, reading and sometimes even lying around doing nothing.

I understand that time is not one of the luxuries of life but it saddens me that we all have a whole bunch of things to do that we keep jumping from one thing to the next as the list keeps piling on and on. I guess, I have always been aware of how fast time is passing by but this book that I started reading recently, the past few months and the thought of the uncertain future have just given me a whole lot more to think about. That is why I decided that it is finally time to write a blog post to sort of help clear my mind.

It has been nine weeks since my internship at a production company started and after a slow start, the past few weeks have been passing by pretty quickly. I think week nine is the most comfortable I have felt at work – thanks to some friendly colleagues. But what I am trying to point out is that it took me nine weeks to adapt to this new environment and before I know it, there is going to be another change in environment and I am totally unprepared for the next change.

I have had my fair share of ups and downs the past nine weeks. There were times when I was extra anxious when tasked with something new or when I realised I had messed up. I was trying so hard not to make mistakes that I failed to realise that this is the time for me to make mistakes and learn from them. I would call that ‘revelation’ a turning point as I have been feeling less anxious ever since. (Keyword: less)

As uncomfortable as I feel at times, I give myself credit for going out of my comfort zone. I might complain and disagree with how certain things are done but I am learning from the experience. I mean, I do need to find something to write about in my logbook and surprisingly this requirement has been helping me filter out lessons that I have learnt each week.

“I am in the TV industry but I have no time to watch TV.”

The above quote was something a colleague said in a casual conversation. At first, I did not make much of it but soon enough, it got the wheels in my head turning. It made me wonder if this is really what I want to do. I know… I know… this is such a cliche thought at this point which is exactly why I am not too worried about ‘the future’. My plan is just to see how the rest of my internship goes, talk to people, get their opinion and do some research myself to help me figure things out. (If you’re reading this and you can relate, then let me just tell you that I am sure we will find our place and solve the puzzle eventually. No rush.)

Don’t get me wrong, I knew what I was signing up for when I picked ‘production’ for my internship – ‘long hours, no sleep and constant work’. I am aware that the way I work may not be ideal for me to be interning at a production company but I just believed and I still believe that there are more ways than one to get things done. However, being at the bottom of the hierarchy, I totally understand that I can’t have things my way. So, at the end of the day, if this is really what I want to do, I promise you that I will put in the work and slowly but surely climb up that damn ladder.

“My fear of heights won’t stop me from climbing the ladder of success.”

Until next time,

PEACE OUT.

We’ll see…

The first week of the third year of school has started. And I do have quite a bit to write about. But before I can get to that, I need to recap the last three weeks of the school holidays. It just feels better to go in chronological order. However, I might have forgotten certain mention-worthy bits because it has been a while. So, what you read might just be a condensed recap.

Most of the fourth week was burnt at the CASS Freshmen Orientation Camp. I was involved in the camp as part of the Day Programmes team. I was not really looking forward to it because I’m not a fan of camps in general. However, that is also the reason why I feel a sense of accomplishment whenever I go through these camps. It’s a step towards ‘going out of my comfort zone’.

The camp was fun and it turned out better than expected. It was nice meeting the freshmen and getting to know my schoolmates better too. Of course, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It was tiring and some things didn’t work out like we had all hoped it would. For instance, my team had to improvise all our games because it rained on all three days. There were other interesting things that happened too. (Things that I rather not mention here but would love to share with you in person.) But I guess what is important is that, by the end of the camp, there was a strong and special bond that was formed amongst the members of the organising committee. And that’s just nice.

The rest of the week, I didn’t do much. I needed to catch up on my sleep and TV shows.

Here’s my Day Progs team! We all contributed something different to the team. Wouldn’t have had it any other way.

A selfie with our night walk scarers makeup on.

Part of the Organising Committee.

The highlights of the fifth week have to be going to Universal Studios Singapore with Rosydi & Azfar and cafe-hopping with Chelsea, Jamie & Shafna. Let me tell you about USS first.

A month or two ago, Azfar told Rosydi and I that if he does really well for his A’Level exams, he would treat us to something. Back then, we had quite a number of ideas but the idea that we all agreed on was USS. My point is that, Azfar scored well and kept his word and I got to go to USS for free!

Although it was my second time there, I was even more anxious than the first time. I have got a fear of heights and almost every single ride had some sort up and (out-of-nowhere) down motion. After the The Mummy ride, I thought I was done for the day. But we took a break and I am proud to say that I did not back out of any ride. Of course it was just perfect, that riding the Battlestar Galactica roller coasters were not an option because it was out of order. So, I didn’t have to worry about that.

A summary of our time at USS would be us trying out the many rides and walking around taking pictures. Later that day, we also watched Fast & Furious 7. The ending scene was still very emotional despite the spoilers on social media. I feel sad whenever I listen to ‘See You Again’ but it’s catchy and addictive.

It’s Vin Diesel! When we took this picture, we had no intentions of watching #Fast7.

Similar to the caption above. Funny how we ended up watching it for real later that day.

How can you not love this picture? 

Thanks Azfar for the treat and thanks guys for the fun time!

Next, cafe-hopping! We planned this just the week before when we were cooking at Jamie’s. We visited just three cafes – Choupinette, Wheeler’s Yard and FATCAT Ice Cream Bar. I’m not going to do a food review because I only have three levels when it comes to judging food – Okay, Good and Great. Most things fall in the ‘Good’ category and I’m happy with that!

We also took many pictures of ourselves and the food we ate. To summarise, it was good food and great company.

The Waffles at FATCAT were great.

FATCAT’s Original Waffle topped with a scoop of Cookies & Cream Ice Cream.

This Chocolate Fudge cake from Wheeler’s Yard was okay.

Brunch at Choupinette was great.

I really love this picture. #Perfection.

Moving on to week six, it was the Freshmen Orientation Programme also known as the last event the current CASS Club was involved in for now. Unlike the Orientation Camp, the Orientation Programme was compulsory. The CASS Club didn’t have that much to do. We were only involved in the first two days.

I couldn’t make it on the first day because I had to attend a compulsory ‘Grooming and Dining Etiquette Workshop’ in school. It was one of the workshops from week one that got pushed back due to lack of sign ups. The workshop was okay. I did learn something but I don’t know if I will remember everything when it matters the most. On the bright side, me completing this workshop means that all the compulsory workshops are out of the way!

On the second day of the orientation, we helped out with the campus tour. I was stationed at the writers’ room. However, the seniors were using it to rehearse for an important pitch. So, I tried to keep the freshmen outside after the first few rounds. After the campus tour, the CASS Club Main Committee took a couple of pictures together and that was that.

We had a checkered/flannel dress code.

Thanks for the fun and not-so-fun times guys! I would do it all over again.

I was hoping to spend the rest of the week at home but on Wednesday and Friday, I went to school for Rojakrew meetings. The Rojakrew comprises of a few seniors, Chelsea, Jamie & Shafna. We have been working on a documentary the entire holiday and we officially released (or uploaded it on Facebook) on that Friday. In between the Rojakrew meetings, on Thursday, I spent the day in JB with Rosydi & Azfar. It was nice being away from social media.

After we uploaded the video, we just hung out at Hilltop Haven. Here is half of Rojakrew! 

We played Monopoly Deal ( which has got to be one of my favourite card games ever!). I won just once.

Later, we met Kirt for Dinner. She is now one of us!

I must say, it was a pretty nice way to end the holidays.

Now, four days of school have passed and I do have a couple of things on my mind. A couple of things I wish I could get off my chest. Things I have blogged about before. Things I have confronted before. It honestly doesn’t have to be this way, but I guess I have a habit of chasing after people who find it easy to forget me. And in the end, I’m on the losing end. I’m trying my best not to think about it though. So, we’ll see…

Until next time,

PEACE OUT.

P.S: Here’s the documentary that Rojakrew worked on, if you are interested!

Bringing the Zen

It feels like it’s been an extremely long time since I last wrote a blog post. (My last post was actually only about a month ago.) It only seems right for me to post something while I can instead of procrastinating so where do I begin?

I know that the week that we returned to a new school term was pretty eventful. Firstly, my classmates and I exchanged Secret Santa gifts. I was pretty pleased with what I got for Vera – a plant. Well it wasn’t a plant yet but it was a pot with the seeds that required watering. You know, one of those DIY-ish things. I wonder what the plant looks like now, almost a month later. Anyway, I didn’t attempt to figure out who my Secret Santa was although I knew who 4-5 other people were buying gifts for. I really didn’t want to ruin the surprise for myself though. And trust me, when I opened my gift, I was pleasantly surprised. It was a Hulk Hogan Pop! Vinyl figure! (For those who may not know who Hulk Hogan is, he is a WWE Legend. And a Pop! Vinyl figure is basically a cute version of a WWE action figure.) In addition to the figure, I also got a couple of superhero badges.

WWE Hulk Hogan Pop! Vinyl Figure

Love these badges. I promise to use them as soon as I get a new bag.

I really was not expecting anything WWE related and so it took me a while to figure out who my Secret Santa was. In fact, I actually couldn’t figure it out. So, I decided to just see Vera’s reaction to what I got her and I heard her saying something along the lines of, “I want to know who got me my gift so that I can show them what it looks like after it grows!” So, that was when I revealed that it was me who got her the plant and Vera in turn revealed that she got me my gift. #MysterySolved. It was a fun experience and it was nice to carry the Christmas spirit into our classroom even after Christmas was over. Thanks a lot Vera for the awesome gifts!

That same day was also when I had to help out at the SP Open House with course counselling. I was nervous at first but I got used to it. I got to share my experiences and meet some seniors. By the end of my session, I also returned home with two polaroids (courtesy of Bernice) that I added to my vision board. But I didn’t return home straightaway. Chels and I got Starbucks on the way back and I also collected my replacement Pebble watch from the post office. My Pebble’s screen had died about a couple of months ago and I just decided to email Pebble support to see if I can get it replaced and they sent me a replacement. Honestly, that day made me feel so appreciative for everything I had. I was just really happy and thankful. It was just a really memorable day.

However, as well all know if you have the ups, you must have the downs as well. And the new term meant the beginning of two big downs. Both of which were brought up in the first week.

Firstly, the documentary assignment which has been taking a toll on everyone. Having to find a profile who is interesting and willing to be filmed is one thing. Thinking of what sequences to film and the theme of the documentary is another. And having to actually film it is a whole other thing. I’m just trying to not go crazy and trying to bring the zen instead. I have faith in my team and I like the direction we are going in so far. Not everything has gone as planned and not everything has been going smoothly but that doesn’t mean that it all won’t work out in the end, right? (I just realised that I don’t have a picture with my team yet)

Secondly, the preparation for the Freshmen Orientation Camp. I’m just not a huge fan of camps in general and so I have anxiety just thinking about attending it. Plus, all the preparation just adds a certain amount of stress on top of all the assignments that we already have to work on. I also wonder if the camp is going to burn a valuable week of my holidays. I guess all I can do is just hope that I don’t regret my choice of signing up for it once the camp is over. I really don’t want to give up and pull out now.

There was another big down the second week back at school. I fell sick on a Wednesday and I felt terrible on Thursday and on Friday, I didn’t go to school. I didn’t want to get out of bed and I needed a day-off too. But the deadline for a photojournalism assignment was coming right up and I still had no pictures yet. I know it’s my fault for not starting earlier, so I decided to go all out on Saturday while still feeling sick. I got everything I needed though so I was able to put everything together in time. I just want to say thanks to the friends that checked in on me over those few days and were able to help me in one way or another. I am really thankful for you guys.

I’ve been trying hard to remind myself and everyone around me that it’s JUST another eight more assignments we have to complete. We’ve already completed 12 this semester so what’s another eight?

I’ll admit that I have been finding myself in these extremely stressful and frustrating situations. I would love to throw some shade right here but it’s just not the right time. I am pretty proud of myself for keeping cool and calm. But don’t get me wrong, I could potentially explode at any time. But this post and title is in reference to my current state of mind which I hope lasts for a long time.

So until next time,

PEACE OUT.

A Much-Needed Break

So, what have I been up to as of late? Well, there were plenty of assignments to clear and an equal amount of changes to deal with. I’m not going to lie about how I questioned some friendships as they were put to the test over the stressful past few weeks.

And then I made myself sad one night when I just couldn’t fall asleep and decided to look through my photo gallery. I noticed how we have all changed. You know, from hairstyles to the people we surround ourselves with. I was afraid that the bond we all once had was no more. But I was comforted with the realization that the pressure and stress that we were under could be one of the reasons why it seems that way. We will probably return to the way we have always been when we are all carefree and happy again, right?

So yes, I had to look at the bigger picture and filter out the negativity which also reminded me that what I have left is something beautiful and amazing. And this was pretty clear by how everyone was able to get together on the day of our final submission for the semester and celebrate not only the end of the semester but also one of the birthdays. I would go on to give you details of how we spent the day but I’ll just leave you with this video instead.

Next, the holidays! I have been looking forward to the holidays forever. Not because I dread school but because I really just want a break. A break that I can spend staying at home, watching movies and TV shows all-day, read and write more blog posts. Plus, I also feel that I do deserve this break because of all the hard work I have been putting in. We all have, haven’t we? So, I definitely am happy that I another six weeks of holidays. But just like how the first week was burnt in school, finishing up the final assignment for the semester, it turns out that the holidays might not be as stay-home as I expected. There are some activities that require me to go back to school and others with friends and family that I am looking forward to but which still mean that I have lesser time for myself. Thereby, I’m hoping that once all these activities are over, that I am left with at least a week or two to do whatever I want to.

This is exactly how I wish I can spend my holidays.

Speaking of activities I am looking forward to, there is a class chalet that I am excited about. We have a bigger chalet as compared to the last one we booked, this time last year. I feel like this is going to be just what everyone needs to bond and officially celebrate the end of the first semester. I’m also hoping that everyone can surrender their phones at the door but let’s get real, that is not going to happen. So, I’ll just deal with it. I’ll also be able to spend some time with my closest friends from secondary school again. And of course to be able to have a sleepover with my cousins (Let’s hope that I can get them to put their phones down though). There is also a stand-up comedy event that I’m looking forward to and I hope it goes well.

I guess, I do have quite a lot to look forward to over the next six weeks. And just as I was typing this I remembered how I would also be getting my grades and the timetable for the next semester in a couple of weeks. Oh well, we all need a balance of the good and the bad, right? Until next time…

PEACE OUT.

What a HECTIC Week

This past week must be one of the most tiring and stressful weeks of school, so far. All the projects piling up would be the main reason. But dealing with my parents this past week hasn’t been too easy either.

In school, there was some work to do for every module. 2/3 of my modules had projects or assignments to be completed.

Monday, my group met early to add finishing touches to our project and to practice our presentation. But we didn’t get enough time to rehearse so it was just adding finishing touches. Then I nearly had a phone losing experience. I went into panic mode but thank god, my phone was with my group mate. I believe she thought I was angry but I was actually thankful and relieved. In class, we celebrated two classmate’s birthdays. And it was pretty noisy to focus on another project. This project my teammates were Jamie, Shafna & Shantel. The ideas we had come up with over the weekend were pretty much shot down and so we had to start from scratch.

Back home, I came home to see a few books I bought from the book fair the day before on my table just lying there. It annoyed me cause it’s not like I have that much time and I swear some of those books were meant for both my mother and I to read. So it set me off in a bad mood and I wasn’t too great at holding back. Then my Mum got angry with me cause I was in a pissy mood. And I felt bad a few hours later and apologized. Things weren’t looking too good for me.

Tuesday, it was presentation day! Of course, my group met half an hour earlier. We didn’t really do much other than to run through the presentation a few minutes before class started. It was intimidating seeing the props of all the other groups and we started off the class on the wrong foot by printing our story in the wrong format.(we didn’t have double spacing, BIG DEAL) But our teacher told us there was nothing we could do and that she’ll deduct a few marks for it. Not going to complain cause it was our fault. My group presented second. And it went well. As usual, everyone else in my group got complimented except for me. But I just told myself to get over it cause I didn’t get any negative feedback either. After all the groups presented, it was hard to tell which stories were the best. Only 4 out of 5 presentations(including my group’s) went well if you ask me. And it was kind of annoying how at times the wrong things got complimented for. Before leaving class after it ended, my group had to clean up the fabulous-ness we left behind.(glitter from one of our “props”) And my silohuette got sprayed(by water) on to one of the walls. It was kinda fun, to be honest.

I didn’t just go home then though. Why would I? Hus, Shafna and I took a bus to town to have lunch and catch a movie. We also played darts while there. Thankfully I won one game out of 3. Despicable Me 2 was the movie. And you can read my review here:

Despicable Me 2 Review

Wednesday, it was my SHOW & TELL day! I got the email just a day before and only read it at 6pm after I returned from the movie. I quickly finished up my slides and did the best I could to make them pretty. But when it was time, the fonts were not viewable on my teacher’s laptop. So the beauty effect was kinda gone. I called my SHOW & TELL, “15 Minutes of Awesomness with Aravind”. I have been planning it for quite some time. Just shared with my class, my favourite music, tv shows and hobbies. However, this was also the day I found out about a little something that changed my perspective of people in my class. There’s just so much badmouthing going on, it’s like I have to be really careful what I say around who. It did piss me off though, what I heard cause the person got their facts wrong. #Whatevs

Once I got home, I decided to go for a run cause Chels & MinYi got me in the mood. I was pretty happy with my time though it was no where near the passing time for 2.4km.

Thursday, classes were pretty boring. But I had fun during my break. We played the Game of Life without clear knowledge of the rules. I think I won cause I retired first but none of us were too sure. Back at home, I went on call with one of my project groups(the one where our story got shot down). By now we had a new story and thank god, we had started writing it out. Took a few hours but by the end of the day(around 11pm), we had completed the story and overshot the word limit. We still sent the draft to our teacher for feedback.

Friday, TGIF right? Classes were alright. Not too great. Used my break to study for a mock test. And the mock test was kinda pointless cause we didn’t know how the marks were counted if we got a part of the question wrong. But still it was good practice. Will have to start studying for the actual test tomorrow since it’s scheduled to be held on the coming Wednesday.

Today, I’ve been waiting for the weekend all week. But I woke up to find that one of the on-again-off-again leaks(in the living room), which my Mother had told my Dad about had gotten a lot worst. But my Dad had to go to work. So my Mum couldn’t do anything other than to call for a contractor who was busy and could only make it in the afternoon. So we turned the water supply off so it would stop leaking. And then when my Dad got back instead of dealing with the issue, there was an argument and my Mum left to go to my Aunt’s, leaving me and my Dad home. Everything was fine till the contractors came and my Dad ruined my mood by saying some things and complaining about pointless stuff. It wasn’t easy. I just wanted to enjoy my weekend and realx but it wasn’t going to be that easy. Sigh. I felt pretty depressed and decided to go for a run. Once the contractors left like 3 hours later and the water supply was back, I had a pretty refreshing shower. And everything is normal, for now. I repeat, for now.

Till something sets me off again,

PEACE OUT.

P.S: My teacher replied to our first draft. He said it was pretty good. But does that mean it has potential for an A or a B? Hoping it’s an A of course.

You’re kidding right?

Looking back at secondary school now, I feel like it was all one big joke. A prank that took four years to be executed and makes me finally wonder…

“Where’s the hidden camera? Cause this can’t be real.”

The experience was interesting with the elements of fun, drama & stress making it one long roller coaster ride. The people? Well there are the ones who are real and have become actual friends of mine. That list, would have about a maximum of 10 names. Yes. Out of all the people I’ve met over the past four years in school, I only consider about ten of them, my real & true friends. The rest of them are fake in their own ways.

Fake ranges from, delusional people to people who put up a facade and of course the ever popular backstabbers. I’ve experienced it all and I’ll admit, I’ve stabbed some people in the back. Unintentionally, most of the time.

Now it did seem real when I was going through it. The problems seemed huge. The fake friends seemed real. The stress seemed over bearing. But let’s take a look at things now, shall we?

I’ve seen several complaints by my former schoolmates about how they miss secondary school and “Awww… it’s over”. But if you ask me, I’m glad I’m out of that hell hole. I can’t really describe what I’ve been through but I know I can’t always play the victim. I got myself into some of the mess while the rest kinda found me. I’m happy with what I’m doing now though. The course I’m taking, the friends I’m making and the life I’m living. When you’re doing what you like, you don’t feel stressed out.

Meanwhile, I’m glad to see that the people who were on their own high horses in secondary school have been knocked off them now. I hope, that makes them realise that we are all on the same level in reality. They aren’t any better than me, contrary to their own belief.

I’m also glad to see, that the true colours of some people are starting to show. Especially, when my suspicions over the past few years about people, have been proven true. We might have been friends in school and I might have helped you more than you helped me but what does that all mean at the end of the day? Answer: Nothing. Be shady and not invite me to lunch, dinner or whatever it is that you guys are meeting for. I’m better off reading a book than dealing with that bullshit again.

It’s funny seeing how the cliques that once made me feel left out,(cause I didn’t fit into any) have now all been separated. How does it feel now, huh? Hope you are able to make new friends just so you can survive the next few years of your lives. But if you don’t, I couldn’t care less.

So seeing that, I don’t feel the stress like how I used to once feel, the friends I’d made are now strangers(with the exception of a handful of awesome people) & how I’m not made to worry about pointless and petty things any longer, the past four years seem like a complete joke to me.

PEACE OUT.

P.S: The inspiration and drive for this post came from the the events of the past few months. The dis-invitations to various “hang-outs”, the neediness portrayed by my former schoolmates for their old cliques & friends & basically everything I’ve been through in secondary school.